Sacked

marval | 18:25 Sun 24th Feb 2013 | Jokes

4 Answers

I've just been sacked from my job at the post office but I think I was too young for it anyway. All day long I would sit there sorting letters and listening to the radio but every time a song finished I would open one of the parcels.

Due to a threatened strike over pay by Aylesbury firemen, a poll was taken. As a result, 7 members of blue watch fell through a hole in the floor.

I've been nominated for a 'Hairdresser of the Year' award.
Best Newcomber.

I'm a surgeon in Liposuction.
I prefer to call it Waist Disposal.

I recently tried to join the Magic Circle, but failed the interview.
They kept asking me trick questions.

My electrician mate accidentally blew the power to the Ice making factory next door.
The company has gone into liquidation.

I've been told to rest by my doctor.
I've already put my sleeping bag next to his desk.

Gynaecologist.
Now there is a man who knows how to treat a Lady.

I went to my doctor and told him that every time I see a Biro lid, I get all sad and tearful. "Tell me," he replied, "how long have you had these pen top emotions?"

The boss called one of his employees into his office and told him, "Jenkins, I've decided to make you the plant manager."
"Gee, thanks boss," the worker said. "What do I have to do?"
"Just water them every day."

A good carpenter will do his work and then varnish without a trace.

I've just got a new job in Field Marketing
So far I've sold about 20 acres.

I just got fired from my job as the local barber for setting my customers' left and right on fire.
Apparently "Sideburns' weren't what I thought they were.