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marval | 17:15 Fri 08th Feb 2013 | Jokes
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''I’ve discovered a new compound that needs to be added to the periodic table. It’s made up of B, O and O.
It’s the element of surprise.

I often have trouble spelling my own address.
"Surrey" seems to be the hardest word.

I tried to get my local chippie interested in selling minnows in batter.
But he said he had bigger fish to fry.

Found a six foot giant teddy bear with a key in its back, left against my front door this morning.
I thought this has got to be a wind-up, surely?

Carrot flavoured body lotion: that'll put hares on your chest.

My mum said I used to cry wolf a lot as a child, but what did she expect?
It was her who took me to Gladiators and she knew he was my favourite.

I was at the carousel at the airport and there was one piece of luggage left going round.
The guy next to me had lost something so I thought it might be his but apparently this wasn't the case.

I went into my art lesson covered in yeast and flour.
My teacher said I was the perfect roll model.

I've just been watching my neighbour spend hours meticulously gluing Bubble wrap to his dinghy.
Well, whatever floats your boat.

I've called my dog 'Macduff'.
So when I'm about to take him for a walk, I can say "Lead on Macduff."



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Sorry but it's 'Lay on Macduff.'
Love em Marval!! LOL
(I do feel sorry for the teddy bear though)
Also no compounds need to be added to the periodic table, since that only ever has elements in...
Like 'em marval. I must confess that I had to read wolf a couple of times before it finally sank in, Doh!

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