I've been invited to join an austerity protest march ...

[excelsior-1]

... But i said no, i cannot afford it

[bookbinder]

I was once invited to a lecture on apathy, but I couldn't be bothered to turn up.

[excelsior-1]

There is a lecture on schizophrenia at my old college next week
I'm in two minds whether to attend

[bookbinder]

Yes, I like that one about schizophrenia!

[Hopkirk]

I was invited to the same lecture Bookbi

[plautus]

Same as me. I was invited to a lecture on split personality but was in two minds whether to go or not...

[plautus]

Oh dear, that wan't there when I began typing!!!

[Prudie]

i was asked once to leave the bath water in but I couldn't be bothered.

[DTCwordfan]

I got invited to a meteorology (climate) conference. I couldn't go as I was in a low trough, a depression.

[Kiki-frog]

c

[Kiki-frog]

Whoops, sorry, I don't know what happened there. Must go to a lecture on keyboard skills one day.

[excelsior-1]

Keep 'em coming folks .. I'll choose one for best answer

[DTCwordfan]

When I was in Houston, I got invited to a Space presentation. I ended up in the wrong room.

[plautus]

I've been invited to the next meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. How did they get my name?

[bibblebub]

i met this bloke with a magnet but found that we were poles apart

[DTCwordfan]

Sqad invited me in for a consultation.

I stayed home and read the McKinsey's sex manual.

[plautus]

Bloke from Warsaw split up with his missus. They were Poles apart too.

[Prudie]

there was nothing between them, not even a sheet

[excelsior-1]

I ended up in bed with another man sunday night
I'll never go to a wife-swapping party again

[excelsior-1]

I saw three goldfish in a tank today
None of them knew how to drive it

[DTCwordfan]

I was in a lap dancing club at the weekend and was enjoying myself until this 15 stone fat Polish chick came dancing on the table in front of me.

"Strong legs that, hey?" I said to Tony, sitting next to me.

"Huh, she's fat," he replied.

"No mate, I meant the table," I said.