Out Of The Mouths Of Babes?"

[Barmaid]

Prompted by another thread little ones have a real knack of saying exactly what they think making their parents wish for a hole to open up beneath them.

When I was very small we were at the village post office. There was a lady we knew there who was somewhat rotund. In a very loud voice I said to my mother "Is Mrs Smith having twins?"

Have your little ones done this to you? Or did you do this to your parents?

For a laugh, fess up!

[ummmm]

Loads of times. My youngest hated the smell of the corner shop. They used to cook curries upstairs. He was only about 2 when we went to my daughters nativity play and school dinners were being cooked. He said really loudly 'MUM, MUM, I CAN SMELL BROWN PEOPLE' :-D

[jackthehat]

Apparently, I asked a nun if she was on her way to her wedding; I also asked an 'Indian' lady why she had come shopping wearing her pyjamas.......and I told my next-door-neighbour that my Mum only wore her knickers when she went shopping! :o)

[rowanwitch]

I used to do that all the time, I ought to get mum to sign up she has any number of stories.... my personal fave was in the childrens zoo part of London Zoo. Some idiot bloke was showing off and picked up a rabbit by the ears, I whacked him in the leg to get his attention and told him that was not the way to pick up a rabbit. Mum was mortified but a nearby keeper offered me one to take home.

[B00]

My eldest, on a health check at the doctors when a toddler, was told that she was slightly underweight, so the doc jokingly said to her "do you not eat all your meals young lady?" to which the bag replied..."nope, I don't like mummy's cooking!!"

Charming!

[Zacs-Master]

I've told this on here before but my mum was on a bus and there was a little girl pestering her mum for sweets. Her mum wouldn't give in and being very frustrated the little girl blurted out 'if you don't let me have any sweets I'll tell dad you weed in his bucket'

[Ken4155]

My 3 year old daughter, myself and my partner, 8 month pregnant with our 2nd child, were on a bus when another pregnant lady boarded with a male we assumed was her partner. In a very loud voice, my daughter asked, "Did my daddy put that baby in your belly?"

[Zacs-Master]

My mum and dad took me to Southport for the day and we went in the Lido. This was late 60's and Southport was quite genteel. Upon jumping into the pool I shouted 'It's buddy cold in here!'. Exit stage left.....rapidly....for us all.

[ummmm]

My daughter was the 'say it as you see it' type. Asking why someone didn't have hair. Why a disabled person was in a big buggy. Why an old lady had purple hair. Why a black person was so brown. All within earshot of her victims...

[Jackdaw33]

I was about 4 or 5. The only coloured people I had seen were in books. One day I was out with my mother when a black man hove into view. At the top of my voice I shouted, "Look, mam, there's a real live n****r!"

[Ken4155]

My mother used to tell a story of when i was a kid and of how, on hearing the rent collector's all too familiar knock at the door, my mother said to me, "Tell him i'm not in." I opened the door and said (you're ahead of me aren't you?) "Mum said to tell you she's not in." Of course, my embarrassed mother came rushing up behind me and paid the man about half that week's rent saying to me, "I said tell him to wait a minute."

[Rockrose]

Not with me as I was a veritable angel, but my brother took it upon himself on my mother and fathers wedding to shout in the middle of the street 'my daddy doesn't have to sneak out anymore - he can stay the whole night' - Mother nearly died on the spot!

[roopower]

Just this week, younger grandson was watching a friend's baby girl having her nappy changed and asked when her willy was going to grow. After having an explanation he added that maybe it would grow when she was bigger and changed into a boy!

[gness]

Not embarrassing but annoying....we decided to replace ma in law's old bicycle for a birthday surprise.
We managed to hide it in her air raid shelter knowing she'd not go in before the next morning when we could surprise her...
We primed five year old MasterG.....Do not! Not tell Nan we have bought her a new bike and hidden it in the shelter......do not!

Hi, Nan......Mum and Dad haven't bought you a new bike for your birthday and they haven't hidden it in your shelter..... :-)

[bednobs]

i nwas shopping in the lady product aisle in the supermarket when my daughter picked up a box of tampax and shouted out "do you need some of those things you put up your bum mummy"?
another time she was with me in a cubilcle at a motorway service station and said "errrgghh why have you got all red in your nappy" very loudly - loads of people milling about outside

[horselady]

We used to be so careful not to swear in front of ours when they were little. Why then did my sweet 5 year old, when asked by my mother-in-law if she had enjoyed her day on the beach reply "well it would have been ok if my f---kin sandcastle hadn't fallen down"

[ummmm]

That reminds me of my son swearing. His brother was crying about something and he said to him "get your effing crying out of this room"

We started laughing, couldn't help it, but I did say to him "you know when you said to J to get his hmmm hmmm out of this room" and before i could finish what I was saying he said "I didn't say that, I said get your effing crying out the room"

[Barmaid]

These are hilarious.

My mother remembers that when my brother was about 4, he was staying with my (very very proper) grandmother. She was attempting to kill a fly. After watching her unsuccessfully for a while, he said to her "Nanna, let me get the F*****". My mother didnt know whether to laugh or cry when my grandmother telephoned her to report this shocking behaviour.

[mccfluff]

apparently when we moved to england, i was at my Uncle/Aunts house and she was cleaning the loo, i asked where the servants were...

[paddywak]

Many years ago on a family outing to Bridlington I realised I'd got a fishing match the next day so I popped into a tackle shop and bought a new bait bucket and a gallon of maggots, which my 4 year old nephew insisted on carrying.All went well until we we called into a large bakers to get some goodies for a pick-nick and I looked down to see half my maggots disappearing under the counters.After making a very quick exit I asked why he'd done it and he replied with typical kids logic that it was hot so he let them out to get some fresh air.

[maggiebee]

Nephew always watched the horseracing with his grandad on a Saturday afternoon. Grandad got quite excited at times if he thought he might have a winner. One Saturday grandad was shouting at the TV as his horse trailed behind. Nephew shouted "Grandad break the glass and let the fu***rs out". Couldn't tell him off for laughing.