Poets day

[Barmaid]

Seeing as it's Poets Day today, let's have a little poetry and lighten the mood! Funny poems would be good, but PLEASE NO insulting ones aimed at having a pop at anyone else. Can be your own composition or someone elses. I thought this was quite funny:- Said Miss Farrow, on one of her larks: 'Sex is more fun in bed than in parks. You feel more at ease, And your bum doesn't freeze, And passers-by don't make remarks

[sqad617]

Sorry about this, but I wrote it at school as a joke and was found out and was put in detention for 2 weeks.

There was a you man called Perkin.
Who was always jerking his gherkin.
His mother said "Perkin stop jerking you gherkin
Your gherkin's for ferkin not jerking.

Well I was only 14yrs old and it was poetry for the House Competitions.

[ummmm]

That's very good sqad :-)

[funnygirl]

I'm practically perfect in every respect.
I haven't a flaw you could ever detect.
As soon as you know me I'm sure you'll agree
there's no one around who's as perfect as me.

I'm handsome and rich, with a generous heart.
I'm funny, and charming, and totally smart.
At school, in my classes, I only get A's.
I'm also athletic in so many ways.

My clothes are expensive. My hair is just right.
My teeth are all straight, and they're shiny and white.
I'm practically perfect. I'm sure you could tell.
And, oh, did I mention? I'm humble as well.

[Barmaid]

lmao Sqad. Although I am not surprised at the detention. Typo in line 1 and line 3. One week each.

[sqad617]

LOL zac....I wonder of people know what an 850 Norton is?

[Barmaid]

I thought it might be a rather big motorbike!

[Chickadee]

very very old one....

there was a young man from brazil
who swallowed a dynamite pill
his belly retired
his bum backfired
and his c*** shot over the hill.

[craft1948]

ooh thanks Zacs - memories of a 600 Norton Dominator are flooding back....

[sqad617]

craft....what about the Ariel Square Four.

[squarebear]

If there's anything in the world,
that I would like to be,
it's Beyonce Knowles's microphone,
So she could sing to me.

I know she sings to everyone,
When they come to hear her.
But front row seats cost sixty quid.
And I would be much nearer!

[craft1948]

gorgeous zacs - all's well in Gods county

[NoMercy]

Chatter Bank, when all's said and done,
Is here for comment and even for fun,
Make us laugh, or make us roar,
But never forget what it's actually for,
Salla and JJ, sutter utter delights,
Never caught up in anyone's fights,
Leg winds you up but just for a laugh,
Ummm is great but totally daft,
Tiggs is an angel, I do have to say,
And I would not change her in any way.
I'm just a wazzock, but you already know
Tell me to sod off if you want me to go!

[legendis.god]

im niot as abd

as they make me out

but when alls said and done

thats imposssible
and no doubt

ill come on for a giigle

and try to have fun
but you know
and i know
theres always gona be one

wether old lady
or man

or quiz captain
or cook
they will start all their crap
in the hope others will look

and the hope they join in

they make out theyre nice
but really

theyre dim