I ended up in my local, this girl of about 22 to 27, girlfriend of a son of one of the locals.....on her way to "Egip" as a dancer, "pole, lap, jazz and belly" announced to all, no clue about the health practices of Muslim or, yes, Jewish faiths in the area.
I struggled with the accent and then got it. Actually, I was chatting away with another local and we were "interrupted" with, "I've had me nipples pierced"
To which my response was "Which one? Do Man City fans have their right ones done being the east end and Man Utd the left?" "Oh no me dear, we have both done as we are on top, they were second and have it done under!"
I left the pub with a question "So what about the men, which way do they have a Prince Albert then?"
To her boyfriend, "Wots a Prinz Allburt?"
I could hear the laughter..........