Crosswords2 mins ago
The Archers
Spoiler alert - even though I did not listen to last nights (Sunday)
She's a one is that Elizabeth Archer. There is a name for her sort. Ghastly woman - what on earth was Roy thinking.
My friend is off to Glasto at the weekend I better let her know what kind of shenanigans are going on.
She's a one is that Elizabeth Archer. There is a name for her sort. Ghastly woman - what on earth was Roy thinking.
My friend is off to Glasto at the weekend I better let her know what kind of shenanigans are going on.
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Hopkirk...
Roy has been in the program since he was a little boy, although for most of his childhood he has been that special Archers person, a Silent Character. He was a very naughty boy when he was a teenager, being involved in some racist activity against an Asian resident, Usha, who later married the local Vicar. But he has been a very good boy since, without any whiff of scandal...until now. He did have a fling with the hippie daughter of some village Rich People, the Aldridges and there was issue from that encounter. Not one of Roys wisest moves I fear. He has been described in the past as a bit of hunk, so I understand Elizabeth wanting a bit of a nibble at the forbidden apple. He has a sister called Brenda, who is best not talked about, as it will only encourage her...she is somewhat of a Miss Hot Pants, who has terrible trouble in controlling her hormones. Shag-anything-Brenda actually is her nickname around the village. ( sorry about the rude word )
Poor Elizabeth is one of Ambridge's more interesting characters. She had a congenital heart condition, since she was born, which nearly killed her a few years ago, and is David Archer's twin. She had quite a lot of previous relationships, none of them very wise and even had an abortion. But she eventually married one of the best loved Archers characters of all time, Nigel, who was the wealthy son of a local branch of the Nobbery. Everybody loved Nigel, including Elizabeth's sister, Shula. But the idiotic people at the BBC, masquerading as script writers, made him to fall off the roof of his stately home a few years ago, which caused much concerned comment around the country, questions were even asked in the House.
You may already know about the official BBC Website, but just in case
:::
http://
As a new Archers fan, you must expect to be treated with some derision amongst the general public. Ignore this completely. You will also be told that
Ambridge doesn't exist...this is patently nonsense, as I distinctly heard some cows moo the other night.
If I can be of help in explaining anything else concerned with Ambridge, please don't hesitate to ask !
Roy has been in the program since he was a little boy, although for most of his childhood he has been that special Archers person, a Silent Character. He was a very naughty boy when he was a teenager, being involved in some racist activity against an Asian resident, Usha, who later married the local Vicar. But he has been a very good boy since, without any whiff of scandal...until now. He did have a fling with the hippie daughter of some village Rich People, the Aldridges and there was issue from that encounter. Not one of Roys wisest moves I fear. He has been described in the past as a bit of hunk, so I understand Elizabeth wanting a bit of a nibble at the forbidden apple. He has a sister called Brenda, who is best not talked about, as it will only encourage her...she is somewhat of a Miss Hot Pants, who has terrible trouble in controlling her hormones. Shag-anything-Brenda actually is her nickname around the village. ( sorry about the rude word )
Poor Elizabeth is one of Ambridge's more interesting characters. She had a congenital heart condition, since she was born, which nearly killed her a few years ago, and is David Archer's twin. She had quite a lot of previous relationships, none of them very wise and even had an abortion. But she eventually married one of the best loved Archers characters of all time, Nigel, who was the wealthy son of a local branch of the Nobbery. Everybody loved Nigel, including Elizabeth's sister, Shula. But the idiotic people at the BBC, masquerading as script writers, made him to fall off the roof of his stately home a few years ago, which caused much concerned comment around the country, questions were even asked in the House.
You may already know about the official BBC Website, but just in case
:::
http://
As a new Archers fan, you must expect to be treated with some derision amongst the general public. Ignore this completely. You will also be told that
Ambridge doesn't exist...this is patently nonsense, as I distinctly heard some cows moo the other night.
If I can be of help in explaining anything else concerned with Ambridge, please don't hesitate to ask !
Hopkirk...here is a couple more potted Ambridge histories for you ::
Lillian Bellamy..... She is the original "Good Time That Was Had By All"
Sister to Jennifer Aldridge and Tony Archer, she has the wickedest laugh known in Borsetshire. Has had more husbands ( not always her own) and gentlemen friends than most other women have had hot dinners. Currently shacked up with Matt Crawford, who has the business and personal ethics of a rattlesnake, with toothache. Spends money like water. Still quite a looker apparently, although fading at the edges somewhat. Quite wealthy but also quite common. Not the sort of woman that you could take home to meet Mother. In any film made of the Archers, she would be probably be played by Shirley Maclaine ...in short, a tart with a heart.
Linda Snell....quite my most favourite Ambridge resident, ever ! Flew in a few years ago from stockbroker belt Surrey and never left. Fussy doesn't even come near to describing her. She can do more with a single sniff than most women could do with the complete dictionary. She organises pretty well everything in the Village, whether anybody wants her to or not. She is married to a rather mousy man, who doesn't generally have much to say and when he does, its normally to agree with her. She is the only person, other then Jennifer Aldridge, who has ever been able to get Brian Aldridge to do what he is told, no mean feat I can tell you. Any scene with Linda in comes alive as soon as she starts to speak !
Lillian Bellamy..... She is the original "Good Time That Was Had By All"
Sister to Jennifer Aldridge and Tony Archer, she has the wickedest laugh known in Borsetshire. Has had more husbands ( not always her own) and gentlemen friends than most other women have had hot dinners. Currently shacked up with Matt Crawford, who has the business and personal ethics of a rattlesnake, with toothache. Spends money like water. Still quite a looker apparently, although fading at the edges somewhat. Quite wealthy but also quite common. Not the sort of woman that you could take home to meet Mother. In any film made of the Archers, she would be probably be played by Shirley Maclaine ...in short, a tart with a heart.
Linda Snell....quite my most favourite Ambridge resident, ever ! Flew in a few years ago from stockbroker belt Surrey and never left. Fussy doesn't even come near to describing her. She can do more with a single sniff than most women could do with the complete dictionary. She organises pretty well everything in the Village, whether anybody wants her to or not. She is married to a rather mousy man, who doesn't generally have much to say and when he does, its normally to agree with her. She is the only person, other then Jennifer Aldridge, who has ever been able to get Brian Aldridge to do what he is told, no mean feat I can tell you. Any scene with Linda in comes alive as soon as she starts to speak !
The Aldridges :::
Brian is that vanishing breed, the Gentleman Farmer. He is best described as an aging lothario, having propositioned most women in Ambridge at one time or another. He even tried it on with his cleaning lady Betty Tucker,
although you have to be very long in the tooth to remember back that far.
( Betty had blotted her copy book somewhat in ruining the fish knives by loading them into the dishwasher, and nearly had to pay by sacrificing her honour and giving into Brians constant entreaties to take her drawers off ) Brian shares the same ethical code as Matt Crawford, although he tries to cover his tracks better, with the aid of tweedy country clothes, whereas Matt is all winkle pickers and Brylcreem. His last sexual encounter was with an Irish green-eyed tart and this resulted in his only admitted issue on the wrong side of the blanket. This little boy is now being brought up by Brian and his wife as one of the family. Brian is now in his twilight years, sexual romp-wise but us regulars hope that there may be life in the old dirty dog yet.
Jennifer is sometimes described as a saint, having to put up with her husbands continual marital wanderings, but is really nothing of the sort. She would put up with anything to maintain her position as Ambridges greatest snob and Most Self-Important Woman. She will not give up her wonderful spacious home, swimming pool, expensive holidays and new fitted kitchen for anything. She did cause a major scandal back in the sixties by having a child out of wedlock, or a bar steward as they were know then, and this is Adam Macey, one half of Ambridge's Official Gay Couple. It is some considerable distress to Jennifer that she is now related, by marriage, to one of the families forming the Lower Orders in Ambridge, A pig breeding family called the Carters. But that isn't her fault but her daughters for marrying Chris Carter, a local blacksmith and Muscle Mary. Susan, Chris's extremely ambitious Mum is the villages most aspiring resident and unlike Jennifer, is delighted to be linked to the County Set.
Its difficult to say anything much about Debbie Aldridge, Brian and Jennifer's daughter, as there are Silent Characters that more to say than she does these days. She lives almost permanently in Hungary, managing a farming Estate there but in reality she is always in the West End in some blockbuster play or other, having a double life as one of our up and coming actors. She has known despair and disappointment in love, the last being her ex-husband, a Canadian college lecturer, who was busy shagging everything in a skirt behind her back. ( Comment is sometimes made about the fecundity of Ambridge males and I can only put it down to something in the water...its all that run-off of fertilizer from the fields apparently ) Debbie is some kind of agricultural genius, who has had many heated rows with her half-brother Adam over farming policy, but she always wins, being the apple of her fathers eye. Personally I can't stand the snobby, imperious,
supercilious, conceited, disdainful, and overbearing cow.
Two typing fingers tied now.
Brian is that vanishing breed, the Gentleman Farmer. He is best described as an aging lothario, having propositioned most women in Ambridge at one time or another. He even tried it on with his cleaning lady Betty Tucker,
although you have to be very long in the tooth to remember back that far.
( Betty had blotted her copy book somewhat in ruining the fish knives by loading them into the dishwasher, and nearly had to pay by sacrificing her honour and giving into Brians constant entreaties to take her drawers off ) Brian shares the same ethical code as Matt Crawford, although he tries to cover his tracks better, with the aid of tweedy country clothes, whereas Matt is all winkle pickers and Brylcreem. His last sexual encounter was with an Irish green-eyed tart and this resulted in his only admitted issue on the wrong side of the blanket. This little boy is now being brought up by Brian and his wife as one of the family. Brian is now in his twilight years, sexual romp-wise but us regulars hope that there may be life in the old dirty dog yet.
Jennifer is sometimes described as a saint, having to put up with her husbands continual marital wanderings, but is really nothing of the sort. She would put up with anything to maintain her position as Ambridges greatest snob and Most Self-Important Woman. She will not give up her wonderful spacious home, swimming pool, expensive holidays and new fitted kitchen for anything. She did cause a major scandal back in the sixties by having a child out of wedlock, or a bar steward as they were know then, and this is Adam Macey, one half of Ambridge's Official Gay Couple. It is some considerable distress to Jennifer that she is now related, by marriage, to one of the families forming the Lower Orders in Ambridge, A pig breeding family called the Carters. But that isn't her fault but her daughters for marrying Chris Carter, a local blacksmith and Muscle Mary. Susan, Chris's extremely ambitious Mum is the villages most aspiring resident and unlike Jennifer, is delighted to be linked to the County Set.
Its difficult to say anything much about Debbie Aldridge, Brian and Jennifer's daughter, as there are Silent Characters that more to say than she does these days. She lives almost permanently in Hungary, managing a farming Estate there but in reality she is always in the West End in some blockbuster play or other, having a double life as one of our up and coming actors. She has known despair and disappointment in love, the last being her ex-husband, a Canadian college lecturer, who was busy shagging everything in a skirt behind her back. ( Comment is sometimes made about the fecundity of Ambridge males and I can only put it down to something in the water...its all that run-off of fertilizer from the fields apparently ) Debbie is some kind of agricultural genius, who has had many heated rows with her half-brother Adam over farming policy, but she always wins, being the apple of her fathers eye. Personally I can't stand the snobby, imperious,
supercilious, conceited, disdainful, and overbearing cow.
Two typing fingers tied now.
Ooh...a Fantasy Archers !
Well, I could see Penelope Wilton play quite a few roles, like Jill or perhaps Peggy. Harry Enfield and Kathy Burke could play all of the Horrobins between them in their Wayne and Waynetta Slob personas.
Any dashing young star of Hollywood in the '50's could have made a wonderful David Archer, like Montgomery Clift, or Tab Hunter perhaps. I can just see Clift up on Lakey Hill, wiping the sweat from his fevered brow, with a large spotted red handkerchief. Sarah Lancashire is always best when she being cast as a much put-upon skivvy, so would be ideal for Ruth. Or maybe Maxine Peake perhaps ?
The Grundy boys would have been perfect casting for a young Marlon Brando, just after On the Waterfront and before the huge belly set in. They would have to use that wonderful Hollywood technique of using the same actor in all shots of course.
Susan Carter would have been a gift for Thora Hird, in her trying-to-be-posh mode.
Kenneth Williams and Hugh Paddick would have sailed into Adam Macey and Ian Craig without breaking sweat my dear !
I can see Mae West serving behind the bar of the Bull, although the accent for Jolene might have been a bit of a stretch for her. But just think how the bar takings would have soared ! There would have been a queue ten feet deep every night.
I have always been a fan of Yootha Joyce, having met her briefly as a small boy. If she poshed up her accent a bit, she would have made an ideal Caroline Sterling. Caroline comes over all posh most of the time and manages to get a mention of her landed gentry Uncle, Lord Wetherborne, as often as is possible but she is in effect just an old slapper that has been around the block a few times.
There is only one person that could play Tony Archer to perfection and that is Richard Wilson. It would be the smallest step for him to ditch Victor and take on Tony, as the complaining would remain the same, just about different topics. Pat Archer would have been a doddle for Pam Ferris, with a few straws in her hair, and cut-down wellies !
Well, I could see Penelope Wilton play quite a few roles, like Jill or perhaps Peggy. Harry Enfield and Kathy Burke could play all of the Horrobins between them in their Wayne and Waynetta Slob personas.
Any dashing young star of Hollywood in the '50's could have made a wonderful David Archer, like Montgomery Clift, or Tab Hunter perhaps. I can just see Clift up on Lakey Hill, wiping the sweat from his fevered brow, with a large spotted red handkerchief. Sarah Lancashire is always best when she being cast as a much put-upon skivvy, so would be ideal for Ruth. Or maybe Maxine Peake perhaps ?
The Grundy boys would have been perfect casting for a young Marlon Brando, just after On the Waterfront and before the huge belly set in. They would have to use that wonderful Hollywood technique of using the same actor in all shots of course.
Susan Carter would have been a gift for Thora Hird, in her trying-to-be-posh mode.
Kenneth Williams and Hugh Paddick would have sailed into Adam Macey and Ian Craig without breaking sweat my dear !
I can see Mae West serving behind the bar of the Bull, although the accent for Jolene might have been a bit of a stretch for her. But just think how the bar takings would have soared ! There would have been a queue ten feet deep every night.
I have always been a fan of Yootha Joyce, having met her briefly as a small boy. If she poshed up her accent a bit, she would have made an ideal Caroline Sterling. Caroline comes over all posh most of the time and manages to get a mention of her landed gentry Uncle, Lord Wetherborne, as often as is possible but she is in effect just an old slapper that has been around the block a few times.
There is only one person that could play Tony Archer to perfection and that is Richard Wilson. It would be the smallest step for him to ditch Victor and take on Tony, as the complaining would remain the same, just about different topics. Pat Archer would have been a doddle for Pam Ferris, with a few straws in her hair, and cut-down wellies !
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