Divorce.

[tylers]

If your wife decides to leave the marital home through her own accord, what is she entitled to take. If divorce happens, I have evidence of adultary and maritial deception(she is unaware)I will use this should it come to this, she will no doubt contest my unreasonable behaviour in that I put the business first to provide for her and the kids. She has a very good wage and enjoys the lifestyle however, she says she has had enough. I have tried to reason without success.

[chinadog]

I feel for you tylers, My husband left in June on my birthday of all days as he wanted to be single again. I was a mess but getting to grips with it. My solicitor advised me to have my name put on the land registry so that OH could'nt sell the house or take out a loan on it. OH said he wanted a divorce but 4 months down the line he has'nt made a move,Im the one who's been shelling out money to my solicitor but I've out things on hold and Im waiting for OH to see a solicitor. Good luck.

[sara3]

and you think that would be dignified?

maybe she has reasons for her actions..

[sara3]

my comment was aimed at the OP

[chinadog]

Oh I meant to say he only took what he wanted such as his clothes,cd's,a tv and a small outdoor tool shed. He won't have any contact with me at all even though I've texted him asking for us be amicable at least. He does'nt reply and my kids,both adults won't bother with him now but he does'nt seem to care.

[bednobs]

what risk are seedy liaisons to your children?

[tylers]

First of all Sara3, the reason I am not doing it is down to class, I have , she hasn't. I want to protect my children.
"What risks are seedy liasions to your children?" is that a real question? Ok, calm down me...what if she starts doing it where ever she sets up home(absolute risk). The fact she does this in a £12 travel lodge suggests she can do it anywhere, I base this on her previous form of being a you know what.
Thank you to all others for your kind words.

[NOX]

People's choice of sexual partner once they are not married to you is none of your business and you will have to give your wife ( nice terms you refer to her by, by the way) the kudos that she takes appropriate responsibility with regards to your and HER children. Clearly things are very bad between you, so in both your interests maybe you need to call it a day.

[sherrardk]

Why were you spying on her in the first place?

[tylers]

Nox, thank you, you hit the nail on the head. She is still my wife and still married to me, she lives with me and the kids....I just know what she is up to. Things are difficult however, not as bad as she thinks due to my intel. You mention HER children, would you expose children to such skanks without supervision or at least being aware of what was going on?

[tylers]

I wasn't spying prior to my concerns. My observations post concerns proved correct. I am not the one in the wrong here. Should I have burried my head in the sand and forgot about it or become paranoid over her actions?

[tylers]

Red H, no probs, I accept your thoughts. I suppose I have ventured through all emotions in this, bitterness has yet to come, I am still on anger post denial. I am also smug at what I know I suppose, just being honest.

[sherrardk]

Is there any possibility that you have got this completely wrong? Could you mistrust of your wife stem from your other problems (in your other post)?

[tylers]

Sherr, thanks, simple answer..no. I have too much evidence that stems prior and post the freezing so she can't blame that as much as she will/has tried.

[albaqwerty]

Remember you two once loved each other enough to marry and go on to have children.

I'd like to hear her side of this tho.

[tylers]

Ald, you are correct, 2 sides to a story. I am just giving the facts I have. It would be interesting how the wife could expain her exploits faced with the evidence I have. If I have this wrong I will humbly concede and apologise on my knees however, the facts suggest otherwise.

[Andyvon]

Hi Tylers. I don't usually comment on these kinds of threads but one thing caught my eye.

Perhaps your wife does have a valid claim of unreasonable behaviour. I was in business for 12 years and I know that the business will always come before family. I had no children and my first wife worked with me but I know if a valued customer wants your service at night, the weekend, anniversary, the wife's or children's birthday etc you have to look after them. The wife and children have to understand that customers come first as they pay the bills and put food on the table.

It seems to me that you have had to work all the hours in the same way and you mention that in your question. Your wife had obviously felt sufficiently lonely that she's had to find other company. That's not your fault Tylers. It's an old saying that business and family don't mix. It seems that your marriage has broken down because you drifted apart and your wife will claim that. I think she will have a strong argument and may well be entitled to half of everything - especially if she helped you in some way such as doing accounts, cooking etc.

My first wife and I sold our business then divorced as she was a violent alcoholic and she couldn't argue my case. That was a little different to your case but I think your wife might have a point if she or the children hardly saw you. I hope everything goes well. Good luck.

[albaqwerty]

It's always sad when a relationship goes south. :(

[tylers]

Thanks Andy, Quite possibly spot on with your observations. She doesnt add anything to the business. As I said, probably my fault with work but I don't like the pee being taken out of me after 15+ years of marriage.