What Shall I Do About This Job?

[abbeylee90]

Yesterday I got a txt from my job at the care home to say there is no point doing 3 hours per week so will send my p45 and next week wages. Think I might have told you this but they reduced my hours from 30 to 9 hours per week I'm now in a cleaning job cleaning houses 21 hours per was longer Monday-Wednesday but I'm not sure about so hoping to do warehouse work.I regret my decision now to change my days in the care home. I've not had a good day today as supervisor giving me a hard time saying I haven't touched things when I've tried to clean them and it's bad cleaning she find it hard to believe I was a cleaner . They reckon I'm not listening but concentration is my weekness 

[Moorea7]

19.59  Try not to worry, Abbey. Do your very best and think of Christmas and all the parties, lunches, new dress, new shoes,
painted nails, etc. which you will be needing cash for and, who knows, there might just be a gorgeous 35 year old Santa
coming down your street on his sleigh 😊

[hellywelly4]

That's really good advice from Karamia Abbey. Do think about it, you can't go on like this. xx

[pastafreak]

That was many years ago Abbey. Attitudes and knowledge about autism, adhd, and dyspraxia have changed. As said, it's different for girls and young women...they may look for different things now than 20+ years ago. A definate diagnosis can make a huge difference in the kind of work you'd enjoy and be good at...it would also change (good) employer's approach to how they help you.

[jourdain2]

All this advice is very good, Abbey.  Now, have a warm, milky drink and go to bed with the resolve that you will straighten things out, even if you dread doing it.

When you wake tomorrow, it is the first day of a new 'you' and you will do what you promised yourself.  Your mum may be disappointed - but I'm willing to bet that she'll be on your side to start over again.  Let her see some of the very good advice about autism you have received ... or if that is too much, try to se your GP.  Perhaps Mum would come with you?

[abbeylee90]

Kara it's 3.99 to see my result

[newmodarmy]

How does that compare wuth what you spend on new nails?

[Floko]

Kara has apologised for the price. I don't think it woiLd be wise to give your bank card details to the site.

[Moorea7]

That doesn't seem much considering what you spend on frivolities, Abbey!

[abbeylee90]

Floko right someone could pick my bank details up

[Karamia]

Abbey please read my message at 20.05

It says autism in adult women can show in feeling challenged in the workplace, problems with social relationships (you finding it difficult to find or bond with a partner, having struggles and confusion with friendships, having difficulty with man from dog home), eating issues, raised anxiety in certain situations, trying to be a people pleaser and wanting approval of family of friends.

These are just a few that I am reading  but they all make me think that this is you.

Please read my second message and look on NHS site and National Autism Society website for free info about autism in undiagnosed women.

[Floko]

Abbey, your brain must be frazzled now. You have been on here so long today.  Milky drink time and a good rest 😴

[abbeylee90]

What if I am autistic going forward?

[Karamia]

Please stop worrying for starters! 

You would still be Abbey whether you found out tomorrow that you are autistic. 

If you think some of those traits like ...lack of concentration, high anxiety, difficult challenges in workplace, struggles forming relationship or finding a partner, feeling like you need approval of family n friends to the point that it worries you, ...make doctor appointment and take a list with you of all the things you are having problems with in your life....tell him all of them so he/she gets a total picture that your whole life is affected. 

[abbeylee90]

What do I tell the Receptionist I need to book an appointment for?

[abbeylee90]

When you say struggles to find a partner in what way would it get in way of that?

[Moorea7]

Two of the things that autistic people dislike are loud noises and bright lights - as you go to gigs, discos, etc. you must not find these unbearable.  Don't worry so much.  I should think, anyway, autism would have been detected at a very young age - discuss this with your mother.

[Karamia]

I think showing your doctor or any specialist some of your threads and messages that are on answerbank would give them a clear picture of your struggles and issues. 

You may get access to much more advice and help, plus your family and friends would be more sympathetic. 

Like I said, my friend who recently diagnosed has children and her own house but gets help so she can work the hours she is comfortable with then gets top uo benefit from Universal Credit. 

Celebrities Mel Sykes was recently diagnosed autistic plus Paddy McGuiness' wife - who works as a model and has 3 autistic children herself was recently diagnosed. She can't wear patterned clothing, can only eat beige bland food etc.

Abbey you seem to be happy buying the same dress or top in every colour especially animal print stuff - as we have seen in your photos.

Please just check this out as I believe it could be a 'light bulb moment' if you start to understand why you have felt this way for so long.

It's not scary, and it might take time to get some answers, but it might just make you feel better, which is what we are all hoping for you xx

[Karamia]

Tell receptionist that you would like a doctor appointment as you have serious anxiety issues which are building, a lack of concentration and listening which means you are finding even simple work issues or tasks very challenging so  you would like to speak to doctor about a possible autism issue or diagnosis, which is  a serious concern for you.

I went with my friend to doctors when she was 33, so that I could give loads of examples that she maybe didn't even realise she did. It was such a relief to her to know that she had a condition like autism and that it wasn't her being in the wrong.

[hellywelly4]

Could your mother go to the doctors with you? She is the one who knows you best. Try and make that a priority instead of looking for more work at the moment. Good luck.

[Karamia]

In regards to meeting a partner, my other recently diagnosed autistic female friend really wants to meet a guy and uses dating apps just like you do,  she has no problem chatting via text etc and trying to get to know them, but then has panic and anxiety about actually meeting them.  They never match up to how she thought they would be. They also suggest going to cinema which is terrible as you need to have a simple quick meet up in local coffee or cake shop during day to see if you like each other. She always struggles with chat once she meets up with a guy and there are long silences but she gets shy n tongue tied. So never works out.

You seem to worry about meeting guys that you chat to online. Best thing would be Plenty of Fish where u can put a 10 mile or 20 mile radius to meet a guy, (you need to meet a guy who lives close by to make things work as you dont drive ) then say what you looking for on a guy and write down what your own interests are.