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coffeeboy | 11:48 Wed 25th Dec 2013 | Jokes
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Has anyone got a repair manual for a wife?
Mine has got this terrible whining sound.
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I think the best bet is to uninstall husband, or at least the irritating elements of that program.
Install gigolo 8.3 - that should resolve all your problems.
She probably needs a service.
It sounds like a lack of lubrication. I find that several glasses of sherry usually do the trick.

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