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marval | 21:40 Mon 02nd Apr 2018 | Jokes
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I have come up with a talent show idea where you have to impersonate one of the Monty Python team. I’m calling it ‘Eric Idol’.

My band is after breaking up and it’s all my fault. I stretched the elastic too far.

I have been munching on little bits of metal for the last few weeks. Not one of my five but it is a staple diet.

My partner is getting huge on a diet consisting only of Greek cheese. He is just getting feta and feta.

I was reading this book on the anatomy of a pig. It was pretty standard, but I got to the end and found there to be a twist in the tale.

Prague [x] River Vltava [x] St Vitus Cathedral [x] Loket [x] That is my Czech list.

I was knocking one out at work today when I thought to myself “I hate my job as an anaesthetist.”

I once took over the earth with merely a horse chestnut tree. I conkered the world.

I saw a really annoyed guy yesterday, muttering things like, “Femur? No. Radius? No. Mandible?” I thought, “Must have a bone to pick.

My friends and I were deciding which one of us was going to steal New York’s tallest statue. Anyone could have done it but in the end I took the Liberty.
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