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tamirra | 11:07 Mon 22nd Sep 2008 | Family & Relationships
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Why do i find it so hard to give my 10 month old grandaughter back after having her for the day, i cry everytime she has to go, i have had 2 children of my own both grown up now, could it be because i had to have a hysterectomy at the age of 25 and i could be longing for another baby, i know my daughter thinks im just being silly but i do find it so so difficult, please help as im worried that my daughter might stop bringing her round because of it. Thank you in advance. x
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arrgh thats really sad. i think you could be right about longing for another one of your own. im not sure how old you are but could you not look at becomming a childminder, where you will be arnd children all day long and you will get used to having to give them back. have you sat and told your daughter how you feel, i know you may feel silly but it will help her to understand why you get so upset.
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Hi, im not sure that child minding would help, im not sure if its just my grandaughter i long for or babies in general, i have mentioned it to my daughter but she just thinks im being stupid and says just remember shes not yours shes mine, which dosn`t help! My sons girlfriend is having a baby the end of Jan and im worried it will happen again. Im 43 years old.


I'm thinking Glenn Close, bunny boiler ...

arrgh thats not very nice of your daughter really. if it was my mom i would try and understand. maybe you could try talking to your sons girlfriend to see if she can be a bit more understanding, tell her your worries
i do think that you have to remember that your not her mummy but i think it would be easier with your daughters support.i dont really know your circumstances but could you not look at becomming a foster carer or looking at adoption. you can stilladopt a child if u are single or not working etc
I think you still have a very strong maternal instinct, and that is aroused by handling a baby with whom you have a biological link.

I think your daughter is being insenstiive, but given that she is taking the somewhat unfeeling stance on the issue, I would pull right back from discussing your feelings with her any more. If you need to cry when the little one goes home, make sure you don;t do it until your daughter has gone - it will only exacerbate the situation.

I would not be inclined to think of child minding or adoption, because neither option is going to resolve your feelings.

I think you need to allow your feelings, and discuss them with friends of a similar age, who are more likely to understand and support you.

I think your daughter is very lucky to have such a caring and loving mother, it's a shame she doesn;t appreciate you.

Try not to let your feelings stop you from enjoying your grand-daughter's company. The relationship between Nana and grandchuldren is very special - my wife adores being a nana to our two grandchildren, all the fun and plasure, none of the problems or sleepless nights.

Enjoy your new role fully, and your distress will fade with time.
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Thank you andy i will try and i do try not to get upset but i just get too overwhelmed when the time does come for her to go, i think maybe it is something i will get over, but for the time being its very hard. Thank you again. x
You are most welcome.

They say time is a great healer, but they always forget to tell you how much time that may be ...

A x
Question Author
lol yeah thats true, lets hope its not too long then eh? x

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