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spaced | 10:56 Wed 10th Oct 2007 | Parenting
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Me and my wife are expecting our first at the end of Nov. Really excited and we both cant wait.

Just wanted some feedback from people that have been through it - for the last 2 yrs, twice a week (1.5 hr lesson each), I have been doing Kungfu. I really enjoy it, am very good at it, and it keeps me fit and de-stressed! My wife loves that I have a passtime and that I enjoy.

Im having 2 weeks paternity, during which I will have 2 weeks off from kungfu, just so I am therefor her while im off work. When I go back to work, I plan to go back to kungfu. Im really worried that having a baby will stop me from attending these classes twice a week. Most people I know do sacrifice their social life, which is totally understandable and which is something I have already started to do in order to save money, but they continue with going to the gym or similar.

Do you think that I will be still able to continue? It would be a real shame if I had to give it up!
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You are wise to consider this beforehand and I'm sure that your wife is telling you 'now' that there is no good reason why parenthood should change your routine..........

Ho, ho, ho !

Just make sure that everything is 'in place' for your wife on these evenings; just grabbing your kitbag and shouting "I'm off, now then !" will drive her mad !

However, be equally sure that you are prepared to give her an equal amount of time to do 'her thing' to de-stress. She may not want to take you up on it, but the fact that she knows the offer is there for her to get a bit of 'me time' will buoy her up no end !

Take this time to enjoy yourself and your new family..........it passes all too soon ! x
awww bless ya spaced, thats really considerate!

No-one can tell you really until baby is here, you may have a content little baby or you may have a baby who needs a lot of attention. Who knows.

But as long as youre prepared for the odd occasion where mum might want a rest or baby is poorly and needs you both there then Im sure you can get to go to kungfu.

its all about compromise. I hope that you offer to babysit whilst your wife gets a break away from house too :)
I don't see why you can't keep up your classes seeing as your at work all day anyway so an extra hour and a half twice a week isn't asking a lot so long as your wife has free time for herself too.
There'll be plenty times that you'd rather spend with baby spaced than at kung fu but I'm sure you'll get to do as much as you want. Just don't take up golf or you'll be really scupperrd
golf or fishing!!! You may never be able to father a child again :)
I am sure that you can carry on and its really nce that yo are being so considerate.

I would offer your wife a kind of trade off - maybe she could have an evening out as well so you both get a break from Spacette!!

I never stopped my ex going out after we had the children - its healthy to have time out and also by carrying on you will be super fit to protect baby Spaced (especially if she is a girl!!)
Hi spaced, me and my hubby are expecting our first in April and he does Ju jitsu 1.5hours twice per week as well. I hope that we will both be able to continue our pursuits - at the moment I do classes on his nights aswell so that we get to spend time together on the other nights. The only changes I foresee (this might be easy for me to say as I don't have children yet!) is that we will have to make more time for eachother because I will have to attend classes on different nights, whilst he is at Ju Jitsu.

To be quite honest with you, I look forward to the evenings when he is out (tonight being one of them hehehe) and once little one is here it might be nice for your wife to spend some time with baby alone in the evenings.

I wish you the best of luck - let me know how it goes, I will be facing the same problem in April!
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thanks to all of you that gave a repsonse. Its so good to feel that I am not being selfish and that other people feel the same way. Good luck Natilie! And whish your hubby all the best in his Ju Jitsu!
i agree that it's vital to try to keep up your own interests... Jackthehat gives great advice - just make sure your wife has all she needs before you run out the door and then likewise support her in going out for some of her own time/interests... my hubby and i support each other like this and it's been great... although kids being kids you might have to bear in mind they sometimes like to throw last minute spanners in the works like throwing up everywhere so be flexible too in case you ever need to cancel a session - its just one of the joys of parenting! :-)
P.S. forgot to say MASSIVE CONGRATS!!!!!
thought you had an expensive house and a fantastic job so the cost of 2 lessons a week would be a drop in the ocean, oh yes of course you give lessons dont you not have them yourself! before you say anything on here make sure your story is the same as one of the others you put on
Hi Spaced

My daughter is 22 months old. My husband played football every Monday night, being away from the house for 2-3 hours including travel to/from. He asked me if I minded him continuing playing football after the baby was born.

I said I wanted him to carry on playing football, definitely. I know that he loves it, he gets time to spend with his mates, he keeps fit, and it's good to have some time to himself. He felt guilty at first and obviously missed his daughter, but I reassured him that it was okay and he should just relax.

On the flip side, my daughter understands her daddy plays football on Mondays and that it's girly night for us, so we always do a different routine and have lots of fun and cuddles together. She went through a stage of getting upset when he left (and he felt really bad) but she got over that, and now she accepts he goes to football, and even helps him put his shinpads on and helps pack his bag!

Some couples I know of, have the misfortune of having mum stuck home holding the baby whilst dad goes out on frequent, random drunken nights out. I'm sure your wife knows that you're wanting to pursue a meaningful hobby and not just swan off and not give a damn. Maybe your baby will take an interest in kungfu when they're older and will want to have classes themselves!

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