I want to get engaged.

[angiealf]

I've been seeing a wonderful man for nearly 10 weeks now, we're in our 40's and love each other. I desperately want to get engaged to him to show the world we are serious about each other. I want a long engagement so to give plenty of time to save up. How can I get him to buy me a ring, he doesn't seem to be in any rush.

[LoftyLottie]

Ten weeks and you wan't to get engaged! Has you asked you to marry you because I thought engagements were to signify that you will be getting married. Is this a serious question? Personally I think he will run a mile if you start talking about engagements and marriage. It's very early days!!

If you have spoken about marriage and decided that's what you both want then ask him how he feels about an official engagement.

[Bbbananas]

10 weeks?!! Slow down girl.. No wonder he doesn't seem to be in any rush. You may love each other but it is still very early days, whatever your age. To be honest, keep pressurising him or pushing him into buying 'that ring' and you may frighten him off by being too keen.

Long engagement... taking your time... what's the real difference so long as you are together and it ends up in marriage because you both want to.

You are moving far too quickly.

[angiealf]

I am serious Lottie, We have spoken about the possibility of marriage in the future. We deffinately see a future together. He's out of work at the moment and does not want to commit until he can afford to support me. I have told him that a long engagement will be fine then when the time is right we can get married. The price doesn't matter.

[LoftyLottie]

I was never engaged. We just got married. And we didn't save up because being married was important not the whole wedding thing. But that's just me and I appreciate you might be dreaming of a big wedding. But make sure you are not in love with the whole engagement/wedding thing rather than the man himself. I am sure there are some people who have fallen in love very quickly - I was one, but I would never have let him know I loved him so early and apparently he was just the same!!

Good luck in your relationship. I hope that it turns out really well for you.

[LoftyLottie]

Sorry angie. Your post wasn't there when I started my second reply. Well, you certainly both seem commited, but pressing him for a ring when he is broke isn't a good idea. It doesn't matter about what the world thinks. You both know you are serious and that is what matters.

You can be engaged without having a ring you know? Just tell everybody you know. A ring is only a token. Wait until he can afford one.

[ummmm]

Oh dear. Did you meet on FaceBook?

[angiealf]

Thank you both for your input. It is him I'm in love with and not court up in the big wedding idea. I wouldn't even mind if we never get married, just to have him is enough. But there is something special about being able to show off a sparkler though - you must agree. See you and thanks again XX

[Bbbananas]

ummm..... it's not that Luke fella is it? Getting his revenge on his girlfriend who keeps publically embarrassing him.

[LoftyLottie]

Good luck angie. I think I must be unusual in not craving a sparkling ring. I don't wear a wedding ring either!! I had to have it cut off years ago because I developed a nasty allergy to the gold!!

[ummmm]

pmsl Salla. He's use to it. I think he finds public embarrassment quite comforting now....bless him :-)

[Bbbananas]

The day you stop publically embarrassing him Ummm is when he needs to worry!
Treat em mean, keep him keen - that's always been my philosophy too.

angie - I was saying slow down, but that doesn't mean I don't wish you all the luck and happiness in the world. A sparklers great - so long as the man is too. xx

[beso]

You are kidding yourself. Can't commit due to circumstances is the oldest line in the book. Just enjoy the sex while it lasts.

[angiealf]

beso, we haven't had full intercouse yet, that's not what is important, we like to be in each others company and have a cuddle on the bed with a bit of exploring. Sex isn't everything.

[angiealf]

Do I need to explain my meaning of exploring? Running your hands over each others bodies, pausing at particular parts, nibbling, touching etc... etc... etc... You can enjoy each others bodies without including sex.

[ummmm]

So are you going to wait until you get married?

[pericat]

yes I sometimes bring a bar of chocolate up to bed too as the blood sugar can be low in the morning - a nibble is good

[angiealf]

Answer to Ummmm. We have medical problems that make it awkward. We both "WANT" it but can't manage it.