I need someones help!

[lizwolf7]

I have known this guy for about 7 months we went to college together and were always friends in school yet never hung out outside of class. Yet we went out supposly as friends in feb when I got him he gave me a valentines day gift and took me to a movie and paid...we went back to his house to chill after and some stuff happened...then last week we went out again to the movies and dinner and went back to his place didn't think it was gonna happen but it happened again( u know what I mean) and he was just totally connecting with me like he really cares( he always makes the 1st move) he will txt me once in a while he'll check on me the thing that really confuses me is that he has a girlfriend...ya Why is he doing this? Do u think he has feelings for me? Why won't he leave her he is already cheating..I just need advice please please..

[lizwolf7]

Why won't he leave her? He must not be happy right? If he is doing wat he does with me? Like can someone explain to me why he does this? To her n me.. Besides having cake n eating it too.. I mean more psycologically...or something

[sophie_1003]

he is taking advantage of you, he probably knows that you want more from him so he is in control, of when he sees you and what you do when you're together. the reasons for people staying together are very personal and cant be analysed properly by people outside of the relationship. take control and refuse to see him until he's made up his mind, you or his girlfriend, if he wants to be with you he'll leave his girlfriend and start a relationship properly with you, if he doesn't then you deserve someone who is just about you.

[Ice.Maiden]

You wouldn't gain anything by telling her - and perhaps she even knows, deep down.
Stop having sex with him, and then see if he still calls.
The guy's using both of you - because he can.

[Lore]

I don't think anyone here is suggesting for one minute that you are the one sleeping around, in fact, you -like his girlfriend are the innocent victims, in a sense.

I suppose, based on morals you should have told him to end his relationship if he intends to make a go of it with you before 'anything' happend. But life's not like that.

He's basically got you for a bit of fun - anything he says and does may come across as a strong emotioinal connection but the reality is, he'll say anything to keep you interested and while you're emotions are running high, you'll believe him.

This is going to sound realy harsh but, you might not be the only one he's connecting with behind his girlfriend's back.

Be careful.

[lizwolf7]

I feel bad for her bc why be in a relationship when u cheat? what's the point I could never ever do that I just do not get it if u wannna sleep with girls be single right? I think she shoudl know bc all he is doing is using her using me and she's gonna be hurt the most in the end bc she has no idea...

[sqad617]

To all female posters:

"She is enjoying the sex with him"

[redcrx]

the only reason he is cheating though is because you let him. How can you feel sorry for her when youre part of the reason??

Stop sleeping with him, its the only way to find out exactly whats going on.

[lizwolf7]

Lore ya I totally agree with you... He just makes me so mad bc he is getting away with it I want him to be caught some how... So u think he is trying to keep me interested bc he doesn't want anyone else to have me or what?

[sophie_1003]

agree with redcrx, if you feel bad for her the solution is to stop allowing him to cheat on his gf with you, if you told her she would probably blame you just as much as her boyfriend, not be thankful for telling her.

[lizwolf7]

He can't care about her bc if he did he wouldn't of even tried me... And squad617 I'm not sayng I'm enjoying it

[rinkins]

You want him to be caught so you can have him? Is that what you mean. If it makes you so mad that a guy can behave like that and treat someone like that why do you want him? I'm sure you deserve better. If he's cheated once I am sure the chances are he will do it again if he keeps "getting away with it". He could do the same to you. You will get so hurt.

[redcrx]

"He can't care about her bc if he did he wouldn't of even tried me"

sorry but thats not true. Some men cheat, its a fact. They see an opportunity and take it. He may like you but prefer her, or he may just see you as a no strings sex life.

[rinkins]

Please don't try and justify his behaviour liz. If he is unhappy with her he shouldn't be with her, end of. Not have "other hobbies" to keep him occupied.

[lizwolf7]

no I dont want him to leave her like that to be with me I just think she should know and I know if I were with him I'd never ever trust him once a Cheater always a cheater... I just don't understand his mind...

[Ice.Maiden]

But you are IN a relationship with a cheat, lizwolf. He cheats on you with his girlfriend, and vice versa. It's probably not your fault that you've been drawn into his web, but knowing that he has a gf, you're no better than he is. Morals aside, if he liked you a great deal, then he wouldn't stay with the girlfriend - he'd be with you. It's up to you hun, but I think you'd be better off without him and finding yourself someone who cares more about you. I'm sure you deserve better.

[sqad617]

liz........are you saying your NOT enjoying sex with him?

[sophie_1003]

he may care for her but just not respect her. if you're not enjoying it why are you continuing with it? if you say anything to her she will be more likely to believe what her boyfriend says anyway and assume you are lying and just trying to break up their relationship so you can have him.

[rinkins]

Ask him

[Lore]

The only way to find out if he's truly interested in a relationship with you is to put a ban on sex until he's got no other ties.

Also, as many others have said, would you be able to trust him if you were to have a full on relationship with him, knowing what he's capable of?

[redcrx]

"I know if I were with him I'd never ever trust him once a Cheater always a cheater"

exactly. so what do you want?