sex

[ConfusedMum]

i don't really know where to put this question - so hopfully i picked a good place lol.

since having my son my need for sex has just been not there at all - without being to graphic, down there just doesn't feel as sensitive. i really have to work and concentrate to actually have an orgasm - who wants to concentrate on trying to have an orgasm?! haha. i dunno if it's the fact that i don't wanna sleep or go anywhere near my b/f or not but even with another person i still have to work at it and it takes me quite awhile now too... which was never the case.

has anybody else experienced this? if so what did you do?

thanks for any advice

xXx

[jno]

no personal experience of this, but it's partly genetic. The whole purpose of life, for our genes, is having babies to perpetuate the genes; once you've had one, you're sort of programmed to lose interest in your husband and concentrate on your baby, which will need years of care before he's old enough to pass the genes on further.

But it's also partly physical; childbirth is a big experience and it takes bodies a while to readjust. Plus you may quite possibly have lost some feelings in nerves. And if you've actually had enough of your boyfriend and are looking elsewhere, you're taking on a lot of issues at once, so it's no wonder if you're struggling a bit.

Anyway, you're not alone: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2406065.stm

[LazyGun]

As with jno, no personal experience of this.... statistics show that you are very definitely not alone however.

Another link that you may find useful;
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ate/sexandrelations hips/sex/200668.html

[ummmm1]

How old is your son?

[badgerchops]

I think you should have a one on one bathroom or bedroom moment on your own. Work out your body now post-birth before expecting a partner to work miracles. If your baby is under a yr old then penatritive sex may not be as pleasurable as before for you. Try clitoral stimulation only.

[ConfusedMum]

my son is 10months. i need clitoral stim. to 'get off' i can not 'get off' on just penetration alone - i never have been able to do so. but now it seems like clitoral stim is just not worth the hassell - no desire for sex what so ever really.

thanks for the links will check them out in a minute :D

xXx

[badgerchops]

Maybe stop putting pressure on yourself then. Its not a medical condition it is more the fact that you are bl00dy exhausted with a baby, feel maybe less attractive and non sexy. Just take time out from the stress of it all and it will slowly come back

Try and feel sexy with a nice bath, a sensual massage, pampering things which will relax you.

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, my question is why are you sleeping with other people when you have a boyfriend? Why dont you have a chat with your boyfriend and tell him your not getting turned on by him any more. My guess is you tried the other person to see if it was your boyfriend who wasnt satisfying you. I know a lot of women who never feel like sex after a child, but in time they always get the urge back...

[mumof3boys!!]

Having had 3 boys I have some experiance. I found it took a while for things to all fall back into place. Having a baby is a huge disruption to your life in every way. Don't rush into things, give your body and mind time to recover, sex gets better with age(and no I'm not an old fart)

Good luck