Any one on Ab a Carer ..

[theonlyone]

I'm one and now finding it hard work ...
always tired and stressed ...

[funnygirl]

Onlyone, I am not an expert in this matter but you can get help. And you sound like you need help.

I am sure someone will post links and offer good advice, but do try and get some rest and not to do it all on your own.

[knobbynonuty]

Le duck is and she says that it is hard work and if you ask me its bloody slave labour as she gets paid the minimum wage I get paid more 4 times her wage a week and I hardly do a thing compaired to what she does

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, maybe its not the work that getting to you. It could be what your doing after work, or not doing.
What do you do after a typical day at work? Do you just go home and sit on the sofa and watch tv? By the sounds of it, i take it your single?

[figure]

Theonlyone - sounds like you need a carer for yourself. Slow down and take it easy. x

[~max~]

It depends...I have a feeling you are a full time carer for a relative? In that case, you can never really wind down. Very hard work indeed. xxx

[cazzz1975]

I am a carer too and it is difficult, its a 24/7 job

[theonlyone]

Mr Ben 5 ..I care for a friend who is disabled
and my husband is also disabled ..no I don't
sit watching tv ..I do wish I could ..you
haven't a clue ..try doing it for a few weeks ..

[EngTeach]

Being a full time carer for someone is hard work. You need to find someone to relieve you. Ask other family to step in once in a while. You have to be firm with them. I know it is hard, but if you burn out then what?

[MrBen5]

I wasnt having a go at you theonlyone.
I used to see a woman who was a carer. I do have a clue. I know it can be hard work. But her problem was that she was depressed rather than stressed.
If you cant cope you really should see if you can get someone else to look after your friend and you concentrate on looking after your hubby.
there are people out there who offer support.

[cazzz1975]

Have you considered applying for respite theonlyone?

[theonlyone]

Mr Ben you try and get support ..this
is the south coast and has the highest
ratio of retired people ..�750 per week
in a nursing home ..respite care ..you
don't have clue ...all the resources are
over stretched ...

[merciasounds]

I used to be one. Contact your council and find out about respite care. Every couple of months my charge went away for a wekend. At first I planned so much, to sort out my wardrobe, line kitchen cupboards even go into town...the first couple of tmes not having to get up to do the toilet/showering was nice, and I found I slept...and slept and slept, re-charging my own batteries
If respite isn't available to you, then try and contact one of the charities that help, eg: Macmillan nurses. Good luck

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, i can see you are very stressed. Its not me you should be taking your stress out on, but i hope its helping you getting it all out in the open.
It sees your taking too much on. i dont understand why you are in a job if you cant cope. Like i said, prioritise and care for your hubby, and get someone else to either care for your friend or help out. have you no family who could help out.
Even a little help would go along way...

[figure]

Speaking from personal experience with family member, It's very, very hard work indeed. Caring for loved ones at home means the carer is on call 24/7. If they are overweight it's more tiring. All the best Theonlyone. x

[theonlyone]

Mr Ben I posted a question ..you gave an
answer ... as I said ..try it ..be a helper in
a day centre ...not quite the same but will
give you an insight ...

[cazzz1975]

it certainly is difficult, there is no clocking off time, you have to be available all day and all night!

[funnygirl]

You tend to get resentful of the person you're looking after.
Then you start getting angry.

I have cared for someone on a part time basis, I was able to leave and go home, but I can understand the strain of doing it full time.

[theonlyone]

Cazz you tried to tell people what it's like ?
they don't have a clue ...thanks ..

[cazzz1975]

I dont try anymore theonlyone!

[MrBen5]

Its not something i would do. I have no patience.
Its more suitable to women as they have a more caring side to them.
I never once said that it was easy. All i am saying is, maybe your taking too much on. Its ok coming on here whimpering about how difficult it is, but i am sure there is help out there for you.
The thing is, you need to ask for help. Gone are the days when people offer to help you. Its a nasty world out there, full of nasty people...