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nathamilton | 13:11 Mon 30th Jul 2007 | Body & Soul
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This is such a strange question but I dont know what else to do. My life seems so rubbish at the moment. I broke up with my boyfriend about 2 months ago and I cant let it go. Probably because we have slept together twice since even though he tells me he is getting with someone I know who is my age (17) he is 21. I cant stop thinking about him and I dont know why but I still think we will get back together! We only broke up because it wasnt really working but I was doing exams and he was working his bum off and we didnt really have time for each other. He said he doesnt think hes over me. I dont know if I miss him or having someone there. Its not just that, two of my best friends dont speak to me anymore, and I feel alone. I just feel like nothing is good. I want everything to go back to how it was in April. Or May. What can I do? Obviously not turn back time but any advice would be great. Thanks so much x
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Join a youth club and try to avoid adult chat sites like this.
Slightly harsh I think Spoc..

Hi there,

If you are still sleeping with him then u are never going to get over him really.

If you want to be with him, tell him and see if you can work things out. Work around your exams and his work, I'm sure if you really care for each other, you can work something out.

If not, then you have to stop seeing him, otherwise it's going to be hard to get on with things.

Don't you have any other friends that you can go out with at the weekend to take your mind off things and someone that you can also talk to.. :-)
why did your friends stop speaking to you? i'd try to build some bridges there, you sounds like you could do wioth some support, as for your guy, you need to talk it out with him decide whether your feeling for each other are strong enough to give it another go, if not then you have to be strong and walk away - but stay away this time

good luck x
Cheer up and take some time off. Buy a good book to read.
I know you feel like your life is crashing down around you but things will change, it could take a while but the first thing you need to do is put this guy behind you , dust yourself down and soldier on. Play the field a bit, I'm not suggesting you sleep around, at your age I had a few blokes on the go at once and nothing was serious. You have plenty of time for full on relationships.
What do you want to do with your life, are you going to uni?
Believe me when I say that soon this will be a distant memory and you'll be enjoying life again.
your only 17 you should be out having fun ,just enjoy your life with friends leave the men till later . good luck
Know that your hurting just now, but as others have said, at 17 you have plenty of time to meet someone special so until then go out and make new friends, enjoy your teenage years and look forward to the future! Good luck x

BTW this is a family question and answer site not an adult chat site!
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thanks for all your help, i have thought about getting in touch with the two girls and i may try again. they did hurt me a lot though. i will talk to the ex! thanks so much :) x
Firstly you need to know what you want... And if the answer is to move on then you need to stop sleeping with him.. and if the answer is to get him back then you need to stop sleeping with him! If you carry on sleeping with him then he will start to see you as someone he can call upon whenever he wants sex. You won't be someone he respects and he may move on and cast you aside anyway. No-one finds needyness attractive so the first thing you need to appear to be is someone strong, confident and fun to be with. Remember.. You don't need him... You just want him.. and once you establish the difference you will be fine. A need would imply you can't live without him.. and you can.. You are alive.. Everything is fine.

The next thing you need to do is stop contacting him. Don't call or text him.. NO contact. If you want him back then he will start to feel drawn towards you... If you don't want him back then you have no need to want to contact him anyway.
If he contacts you.. Keep discussions to a minimum. Allow him 10mins on the phone with you, and no more than that. Appear busy and as if you have better things to be doing, without being rude to him. If he texts or emails you don't email or text back. He must contact you 3 times to warrant any kind of reply. And when you reply.. keep messages short, sweet and non sexual. He will start to see you as someone in control and he will be attracted to that.

I am sure he is attracted to you now because you have been with him and are sleeping with him but it's a different kind of attraction. It will soon become attraction with lack of respect and before long... You will just be his bootie call.
You are young and deserve far better.. I don't mean he isn't good enough, but I mean the way he is treating you isn't.

R x

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