Drugs

[raysparx1]

My head is spinning, A nephew of mine has started taking drugs,to hide from the fact he was abused by some piece of scum,he won't talk about it to anybody,my Dilema is this bloke is out of prison and walking free after about 1 year inside, my nephew is a prisoner, my Sister is really hurting, which hurts me, what do I do ? I feel very angry,I am on the verge of hurting this bloke really bad, do I do it, ? or hope something happens to him later ? or get someone else to do it ? ( that is not a problem) what would you do ? serious answers only please, I can't get it out of my head, thanks,

[mean-russian]

Hurting him will not do any good.It will get some of your anger out but will in the long-term only cause more problems.It will also make this horrible person feel better and see himself as a victim. The only thing you can do is try and be strong. Get your nephew to see a psyciatrist who can really help he needs to get off the drugs.I can understand why you feel like beating this horrible person up but believe me it is not the answer and will just cause many more problems.

[raysparx1]

Thank you, I know you are right,I just feel so angry inside,it hurts.

[mean-russian]

There is NOTHING wrong with feeling angry.Of course you do and I know I would to if I was ever in this situation.

[DotH]

If the offender is out of prison it is because he is on probation surely, the law should be able to make sure the victim is not left feeling intimidated or at risk, I am sure by taking civil action to prevent any contact from this person would help to lift the anxiety. Hiding and cowering away from it is continuing to be the victim, I am a strong person and I have in the past raised myself up to a great height to defend my children, I would never hesitate to do the same again. The law does get ridiculed but there are victim support counsellors who really know what they are doing and how to help in a practical way, the guy who did this to your nephew seems to be getting away with a continued form of abuse, stop this going on by making his freedom less free, and his life less of a cushy number by getting a restriction order against him and making his life more difficult.

Dotty
xxxx

[raysparx1]

Thanks zeb, the abuse happened about 12 years ago, my nephew started drinking a few years back,but now it is drugs, he won't talk,just says i'm ok, well he ain't ok,nor is his mum, they live a couple of hundred miles from me,so I can't even cuddle her, I wish he would see a councilor,

[mean-russian]

You cannot make someone do something they do not want to do.Deep down he would like to see someone I am sure.

[bobtheturkey]

breeze block him raymondo i would

[raysparx1]

It is getting very close to that bob, something has got to give,cos it is doing my head in,knowing this bloke is free,and walking round without a care in the world,

[bobtheturkey]

im not one for all this pc nanny talking nonsense raymondo, the man is scum and should be dealt with talking wont deal with it.

[unruliejulie]

Hi Ray, how you doing?. how awful for you all. My thoughts are with you. sending you a hug (((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))))

My advice to you would be not to do anything violent,as difficult as it is. If you end up locked up then it will effect your wife and sons.
I am a great believer in what goes around and hopefully something very bad will happen to him. If you beat him up or get someone else to do it, then he will soon recover so what would have been the point other than satisfaction on your part. I think a better way to deal with that lowlife would be just to scare him, let him know you're always around, always watching him, really lay it on thick for him,that way, he might start to feel some of the fear that your poor nephew knows.

It is an awful feeling to have. My 12 year old niece was mugged by 3, 20 year old women last year. I felt utter rage and wanted to hurt them as they had hurt my lovely niece, she isnt the same as she was ,and probably never will be. Fortunately they were caught fairly quickly and locked up for 18 months each. Not long enough in my book but thats our bloody awful justice system for you. I can totally understand how betrayed you all must feel by that ridiculous sentence and why you want to exact your revenge. There are too many pieces of scum walking these streets Ray. xxx

[bobtheturkey]

or you could turn the negative vibes into positive ones as advocated above im sure that will sort it

[raysparx1]

He hides behind the drugs, his mum is in pieces,she blames herself for letting it happen, she cries to me every day on the phone, I have been in trouble years ago,but I have never known such anger as Iv'e got right now, the problem is I stay very calm,it scares me what I will do as well,cos I have my own family to think about .

[unruliejulie]

very wise words iap.

[suffragette]

I'm sorry to hear of your nephew's suffering and the pain it has caused to members of your family. May I suggest you take a look at the attached site for 'Survivors'.

They are an organization that tries to help the victims of childhood sexual abuse and keep tabs on research around the world that deals with the likelihood of various drug, alcohol and even sexual addictions developing in people who have suffered from sexual abuse.

I accept your nephew may not be ready to chat with anyone, but if you are aware of where the help lies it may bring some peace of mind to your family immediately and possibly some comfort to your nephew at a later date.

http://www.survivors.org.uk/

[raysparx1]

Hi Pickle / Julie,

You are both right, thanks for the link pickle, we have got to sort this soon, last week he got through hundreds of pounds, on what ? yes drink and drugs, he says he feels worthless,but when you ask him to talk it's i'm ok,

he won't even admit why he takes them,in fact he denies he takes drugs,

thanks all for your advice I will print it off and send to my sister, I even feel an idiot putting it on here,but I have never felt out of control in my life before this, Ray