How to sort a man out

[Curitiba]

Hello my friend has got a boyfriend that she loves to bits. He treats her really bad and has throw her out of his house lots of time. She now lives elsewhere but still loves him. She's found out that he's been selling her personal belongs on e-bay. I think she should ditch him but I can understand that the love that she feels for him is quite unexplicable.

Does anyone know anything that could help them to be together hapilly forever and ever?

[dot.hawkes]

tell her to ring the police, get him done for theft and forget the happy ever after, unless she catches on quick she'll be in serious danger of losing her sanity.

[allotment10]

agree with dot, she deserves better.

[kazzianne]

he sounds a total s*** - get rid quick!!

[B00]

Why are you trying to help them stay together if he's flogging her stuff?

[Redbel]

Yep, in agreement with other posters.....Is she hoping he will change....Tell her he won't.

[Morrisonker]

Being apart sounds like the best thing for them both. Just because you love someone doesn't mean that being together is good for you. She shouldn't stand for this kind of treatment, it'll be doing her more harm than good.

[Curitiba]

Hi Boo. I'm just tired of seeing her suffering. She does want to be with him cos she loves him. She doesn't agree with the way that he treats her but she hopes he will change.

He is quite successful in his business and has mentioned, when he is in a loving mood, that he wants a house and a family with her. She hopes that this opressive behaviour is just a phase and he will come back to being a loving partner again...as he was when they started dating.

It breaks my heart to her so upset at times. I know how much she loves him and I guess I started wishing he would change for her sake.

[dot.hawkes]

he's doing drugs

[B00]

Aww bless you Curitiba- what a nice friend you are :-)

However the truth is, we can all give you advise till we're blue in the face and which you'll pass onto your friend, but sadly she won't see what a total twonk this guy is till she's ready (if ever!)

[kazzianne]

I agree with boo - you cant make you friend see what they dont wana see - all you can do is be there for them,xx

[Curitiba]

Dot.Hawkes, why do you think he's doing drugs?

[dot.hawkes]

mood swings, erratic behavior, yuppy type with money and a bored recreational void in his life, dependancy on external support, inability to function in close relationships

[dot.hawkes]

plus obviously in finacial need so much he has to commit crime, his supplier will be putting pressure on him to keep his lay-on down to a grand

[websurfer]

selling her belongings on e-bay? some business man he is! it gets me thinking- when they get married with kids, will he go auctioning the kids for orphanage homes?

i think what she shd do is sell his b**t off for free to anyone interested and forget the hell about him

[raysparx]

Shoot him!!!! or blow his nuts off!!!

[Curitiba]

Ladies and gents, thank you so much for your suggestions / opinions.

No, I don't think that she will commit any violence against him cos she is a pacifist and I don't think he's on drugs either. He's got plenty to live on, doesn't drink often and neither smokes. I guess is more a clash of personalities and him trying to control her that has made the relationship to go downhill. They were perfect together during their first months together, even nowadays when I look at them I think to myself ' hum, they really do make a nice couple.' He opens the car door for her and kisses her hand and and she has also confided that he gives her lots of loving attention in bed. But he's only bought her flowers once and they always argue about who pays the bill at the restaurante - a couple of weeks ago he threw coffee at her because she told him to pay for his own breakfast at a pub. I mean, if that was me I would've finished there and then, no-one throws coffee at me and then makes love to me the next day; but she has this magnetism towards him.

I will print the answsers later and show it to her at a convenient time.

I better get to bed now, thank you all once again.

x

[dot.hawkes]

that seems like a mighty waste of what little brain power i possessed

[Dolly1308]

You can't put old heads on young shoulders dot.She has to live and learn for herself ,I would say she doesn't have a lot of self-esteem and perhaps comes from a background of abuse .If this is so any attention is better than none . I really feel for her but only she can decide that she is worth more than this lump of cr@p !