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I saw a dwarf carrying a TV back to his car earlier.
'Jesus' I said, 'Can you manage that Plasma Telly ok on your own mate?'
'Haha you cheeky bugger' he exclaimed 'Its a bloody Kindle!'...
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...looking for an unusual pet as a companion. The store owner suggested a centipede. " What sort of a companion would a centipede be?" the man asked. "This is a most unusual centipede, the store owner...
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A firefighter is working on an engine outside the station, when he notices a little girl nearby with a red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose coiled in the middle. The...
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......if you have a moth ball in each hand?
An extremely large moth....
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..that was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240Z was the car...
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..with a sign above the door that reads, "NO ROPES ALLOWED." The ropes are indignant. "To hell with that!" says the first rope as he heads into the bar. He walks up to the counter and orders a beer....
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...lived together in a pasture. Every day, they would race around the field near the fence lines, and the big horse always won. So one day, the little horse said, "I don't want to race anymore,...
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...an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a...
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...in the middle of the night around 4am, her husband is missing from the bed, but she sees a light on coming from the hallway. She walks into the kitchen an finds him there sitting at the table with...
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... does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?
...
...
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Tennish
[i]shall I get my coat?[i]...
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..were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you...
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..Will Smith in the snow?
By searching for Fresh Prints....
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dies and goes to hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The air conditioning has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor...
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But now I...
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The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread...
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..How about a fountain of "Smart"?...
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Does an earl who gets an OBE become an earlobe?...
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It has been found that if you heat an Eccles cake in a microwave oven the sugar catches fire. This prompted the following headline in the local paper:- "You can't have your Eccles cake and heat it"...
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A travel agent offered me a 21 day special. He told me I would fly from London to New York. Then from Tokyo back to London. I asked him. "How am I supposed to get from New York to Tokyo?" He told me...
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A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is...
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