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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

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racoony
Understanding dementia is a no brainer.
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haras
19d Place for scientific working party (6) I have L.B.A. Diolch yn fawr pawb. HARAS
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Chipchopper
I just received a birthday card, and much to my surprise, when opened it a Yorkshire pudding fell out!!. It was from my Aunt Bessie....
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Berniecuddles2
Me to Dr: I’ve hurt my penis in a surfing accident Dr: Did you fall off your board Me: No I slammed my laptop shut when the wife walked in...
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Berniecuddles2
Turns out Elton John doesn’t like lettuce much. He’s more of a Rocket man....
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-SharonA-
I have written a book on birds..... They're flying off the shelves!!!!...
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aelmpvw
wife to husband ... would you remarry if i died before you? h: i don't see why not w: would you live in our house with her? h: i wouldn't move, i love the house w: would you sleep in our bed with your...
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Patsy33
I'm absolutely gutted, my bank account has been emptied. I guess I'm just lucky to have the Nigerian government paying my lottery winnings in next week!!...
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Berniecuddles2
Persuaded my wife to smuggle coke through customs by sticking it up her bum! I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge....
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Berniecuddles2
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
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Patsy33
Got really emotional this morning at the petrol station, don't know why, just started filling up....
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Shaglene
Paddy is walking down the Blackpool prom one day and he sees a mother breast feeding her baby boy. Paddy stops to speak to the mother. "That's what I like to see natural breast-feeding, I was raised...
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Shaglene
My daughter said, "Dad, when was the first time you fell in love?" I said, "I was 23. I walked into a bar and spotted the most gorgeous redhead I'd ever seen. Cupid fired his arrow the second I saw...
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Shaglene
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there...
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Shaglene
A woman notices her elderly next door neighbour lying flat on his face in his vegetable patch. 'Are you okay? she calls anxiously. 'I'm fine,' he yells back. 'I'm planting potatoes but I've lost my...
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Shaglene
"I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife," the young man said, eyeing the attractive salesgirl, "but I don't know her size" "Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his. "Oh yes," he...
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marval
A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence one evening. The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred, "I'd die for you!" The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye...
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marval
I painted a picture of my cat's feet today. You could say it was a paw-trait....
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spathiphyllum
Just tried to change my password to Beefstew1 but they said it wasn't stroganoff...
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Patsy33
First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door. Funny sense of humour my plumber has....

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