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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

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Patsy33
When I rang up for a 747 pizza, the guy on the other end didn't seem to know what I was on about. I said, "You know, a large plain please"......
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marval
I was sitting plucking away at my guitar when I thought. This thing doesn't have any feathers....
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Shaglene
A man went to Harley Street, London and saw a card advertising for a Gynaecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details. The clerk pulled up the file and read; "The job...
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Shaglene
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home. 2. It's important to have a woman who cooks from time to time. 3. It's important to have a woman who keeps the house clean. 4. It's important to...
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Patsy33
Just watched a new film called 'The Ruler' It didn't measure up to much.......
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paddyk
The woman says: "This place is a mess ! C'mon, you and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor, and if we don't do the laundry right now, you'll have no clothes to wear" The man hears : "...
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paddyk
Three men were trying to guess the professions of their respective dates of the previous evening, based on their bedroom performance and conversation. The first man reckoned that his date was a nurse...
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paddyk
Little Johnny walked into his father's bedroom one day and caught him sitting on the side of his bed slipping on a cond0m. The father, in his attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it ,...
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marval
Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content to watch while others do the work. They are called "Speck Taters." Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at...
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marval
A man stopped me in the street and asked if I had the correct time on me. I replied "I'm sorry I haven't, my watch is five minutes slow."...
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Patsy33
Just bought a suit made from a cactus. I look really sharp..
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Patsy33
I'm actually pretty good in bed. I don't fall out so much now....
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aelmpvw
what do you call a frenchman wearing a pair of sandals? philippe flop...
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marval
A minister, having served the same church for many years, decided to leave and take a similar position in another church. Without telling anyone he had made this decision or writing a letter to the...
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Patsy33
Two mice chewing on a film roll. One says to the other, "I think the book was better"......
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exarmy448
A young lad got a job at his local newspaper office and on coming home after his first day his mother asked him how he got on. 'Its alright mum but there's this bloke who keeps coming over with a...
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marval
Looking in the shopping centre for a nightgown, a 40-ish something lady tried her luck in a shop known for its sexy lingerie. To her delight, she found just what she was looking for. Waiting in the...
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Patsy33
I was delivering a speech to Saudi Arabian shoplifters in which I denounced how Saudi Arabia punishes its shoplifters. They seemed moved by it, but the applause was very quiet....
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Groupie
I went to the Doctors today complaining of strange voices coming from my Boxers Shorts. * The Doctor said, " Ignore them, they're Talking ***...
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Groupie
I used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery , she was in charge of the hops.

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