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Chipchopper

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Chipchopper
A man stopped at a busy transport cafe and ordered a full English breakfast and two slices of bread When the meal was brought to his table ten minutes later, the man demanded: "Wheres the **ing bread...
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Chipchopper
A man walks up to the wet fish counter in his local supermarket and says to the fishmonger: "throw me a couple of those rainbow trout, will ya Fergus" Fergus: "sure, Bill. but why do you want me to...
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Chipchopper
A man walks into a corner shop and asks the shopkeeper: "do you have any helicopter flavored crisps please ?". Shopkeeper: "sorry Sir, we only have plain"...
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Chipchopper
Why did the elephant escape from the zoo, head straight for the greengrocers store and eat the entire stock of garlic ? He just needed some space....
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Chipchopper
I have a Mira shower head which fell apart when I turned on the shower. Three springs fell out, it seemed obvious where the two larger springs are located but the smaller spring (Biro sized) does not....
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Chipchopper
I have a pack of 4 Liege waffles, no heating instructions. How long would it take to warm them through, in a micro wave or conventional oven ? TIA...
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Chipchopper
I hopped on the bus this morning, carrying a large wicker basket full of lovely mushrooms. The driver looked at me glumly and said "you'll have to pay double fair" "Why is that" I protested ?. "For...
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Chipchopper
Is it wise to remove the faded flowers from the ends of the courgettes, to avoid blossom end rot ?...
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Chipchopper
I have a nice crop of courgettes coming on well in the garden and I'm looking for quick and simple ways of cooking them. Literally from plant to plate in minutes. Nothing complicated please!...
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Chipchopper
I saw a guy hanging around, down at the shopping mall today. He had a Mohhekann hair style and was wearing headphones. Somehow, it got me thinking about hot cross buns ??...
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Chipchopper
Q: Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup ? A: Anyone can roast beef....
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Chipchopper
It always makes me laugh when I hear a blackbird near my garden, singing the opening lines to "I'm a barbie girl". Anyone heard this or similar, to brighten up their day ?...
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Chipchopper
Rhododendron groenlandicum. What are the health benefits and should it be taken sparingly ?...
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Chipchopper
It was a busy night at the 'Pride of India' Indian restaurant, while customers waited patiently for their meals. Imagine the surprise when a waiter suddenly appeared and started cavorting around the...
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Chipchopper
A. What did the sardine call the submarine ?. B. A can of people....
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Chipchopper
When the Irish say, 'Drink Responsibly'.....what they really mean is.... Don't fecking spill it!....
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Chipchopper
I decided to sell my old lawn tractor. It was great when it was new but as it got older, the darn thing kept breaking down. I guess that makes me, an extractor fan....
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Chipchopper
.............I am sailing...
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Chipchopper
I remember one evening, visiting my elderly grand parents in a quiet residential street We chatted for hours and I said to my grandfather, "it must be getting late, whats the time ?" He told me that...
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Chipchopper
I've been watching a pair of blue tits going to and fro, as the bring caterpillars to a nest box to feed their young. They are coming back approx every 20-30 seconds. One of the parent birds flickers...

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