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I saw a dwarf carrying a TV back to his car earlier.
'Jesus' I said, 'Can you manage that Plasma Telly ok on your own mate?'
'Haha you cheeky bugger' he exclaimed 'Its a bloody Kindle!'...
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...lived together in a pasture. Every day, they would race around the field near the fence lines, and the big horse always won. So one day, the little horse said, "I don't want to race anymore,...
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..that was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240Z was the car...
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......if you have a moth ball in each hand?
An extremely large moth....
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A firefighter is working on an engine outside the station, when he notices a little girl nearby with a red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose coiled in the middle. The...
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...looking for an unusual pet as a companion. The store owner suggested a centipede. " What sort of a companion would a centipede be?" the man asked. "This is a most unusual centipede, the store owner...
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...an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a...
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The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread...
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..with a sign above the door that reads, "NO ROPES ALLOWED." The ropes are indignant. "To hell with that!" says the first rope as he heads into the bar. He walks up to the counter and orders a beer....
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..were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you...
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...in the middle of the night around 4am, her husband is missing from the bed, but she sees a light on coming from the hallway. She walks into the kitchen an finds him there sitting at the table with...
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... does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?
...
...
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Tennish
[i]shall I get my coat?[i]...
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dies and goes to hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The air conditioning has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor...
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But now I...
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Does an earl who gets an OBE become an earlobe?...
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A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is...
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What are your Height of jokes..? Like: Q, What is the height of patience? A. Standing in the middle of the Sahara desert waiting for the tide to come in! Have fun everyone, and thanks in advance....
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A travel agent offered me a 21 day special. He told me I would fly from London to New York. Then from Tokyo back to London. I asked him. "How am I supposed to get from New York to Tokyo?" He told me...
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....with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number
She looked great going down the stairs....
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..the spiritual leader of tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck
Turns out I phoned dial a lama....
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