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While I was out walking the dog this morning, I saw a guy coming towards me, wearing a shoe on one foot and a boot on the other. He saw me looking puzzled, so I pointed and said "foot trouble" ?. He...
"Remember as days get colder animals are attracted to the warmth of cars so check wheel arches or other hiding places." http://oi57.tinypic.com/290syza.jpg...
...is Switzerland. Don't know why I like it so much, although I suppose the flag is a big plus.
.. The debate on moving staircases is escalating...
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes. What can Santa give away and still keep? A cold! What did one elevator say to the other? I think I'm coming down with something. What did the necktie say...
A minister who was very fond of pure, hot horseradish always kept a bottle of it on his dining room table. He offered some to a guest, who took a big spoonful. When the guest finally was able to...
There's a Wizard who worked in a factory. Everything was satisfactory except that miscreants, taking advantage of his good nature, would steal his parking spot. This continued until he put up the...
First soldier: "Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?" Second soldier: "No way, Jose!" First soldier: "Whyever not?" Second soldier: "It's against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!"...
" Help! " my wife shouted from the shower. " I've got a terrible pain in my chest " " Don't panic, darling ", I said. " You're standing on your nipple "...
I bought a dog from a blacksmith. When I brought it home, it made a bolt for the door. It was a dachshund!...
A young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner has a large trucker sit down at the counter and order, "Gimme 3 flat tires and a couple of headlights." Bewildered he goes to the kitchen and tells...
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection. The...
Confession 1 There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.' The priest said, 'Confess your sins and...
A woman had a cleaning lady come to her house. When she opened the door she saw a 85-year-old lady standing there. So she told her what to clean and she worked but, it wasn’t done very well. So the...
Brothel Trip \An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. 'I'm 90 years old,' he...
A Honda mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Honda when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his garage . The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and...
My 70 year old wife gets out of the shower, walks into our bedroom naked and looks at herself in the full length mirror. " Do you remember the first time you saw me naked? " "Like it was only...
An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Australian politely ignored the American, who,...
What is brassy, and sounds like Tom Jones?
the chicken crossed the road to to other side but why did the man cross the road /??????????????????????????????????????...

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