Jokes in The AnswerBank

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.


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I got in trouble at the local park for lining all the squirrels up in order of height. They didn't like me critter sizing....
I tried to start up a chicken dating agency but failed. It was a struggle to make hens meet....
A redneck went to the hospital, as his wife was having a baby. Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said to him: Congratulations, your wife has had quintuplets, five big baby boys!" The redneck...
A mother shouts up the stairs to her 12 year old son : " Come on Jimmy, its high time you got up! and what time is your dental appointment ?. Two thirty, came the croaky reply. "I know dear" she said,...
Why was the husband always twisting his wedding ring? He was trying to work out the combination.........
Experts are predicting an explosion in the slug population, due to the mildest winter weather for decades. Mind you, I think blowing them up could be a bit messy!...
A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid down on the back seat. The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He...
Have you walked 500 miles? Were you advised to walk 500 more? You could be entitled to compensation... Call the Pro Claimers now!...
I've been playing a few pranks on my wife recently. Yesterday, I replaced her sleeping tablets with laxatives just before we got into bed. Unfortunately, it backfired on me......
My Grandfather was a master craftsman, wood lathe operator. If he could see some of the shoddy workmanship on cheap foreign imports, in the stores today. Well, I think he would be turning in his...
Just bought an ABBA toilet. What a loo!.........
My doctor told me to cut down on sodium. I’m taking his advice with a pinch of salt....
Unfortunate the streets have no names and you're unlikely to find what you're looking for....
Two Pheasants are having a chat One says "fancy being chased into the sky by dogs and then being shot at?" The other says "Only if you're game"....
A couple in bed and the woman suggests that they should have 69. Whats 69 the man asks. The woman says You put your head between my legs and I will put my head between yours. Sounds good says the man...
Old is when; Your wife says, "Let's go upstairs and make love" You answer, "Honey, I can't do both".... Old is when; Someone compliments you on your new crocodile shoes, and you are barefoot.........
A truckie who has been out on the road for three weeks stops off at a brothel outside Kalgoorlie .. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a...
I've gone to the new restaurant called Moon and it serves lots of Satellite dishes. I never let my children listen to jazz or classical music. It is full of sax and violins. Is a book on voyeurism a...
A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant. "Did you smell that food?", she asked. " It smells absolutely incredible!" Being a 'kind- hearted Scotsman' he thought, "What the hell....,...
Man goes into library looking for a particular book. The Librarian says, "Can I help you sir?" "Yes", he replied, "I'm looking for 'A Lonely Spinster', by Willie Joiner" "Ah you're in luck sir,...

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