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While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic...
Little Freddie's mother was in the hospital after having given birth, and he was paying a visit to see his new brother. He wandered into an adjoining room which was occupied by a woman with a broken...
William Shatner once set up a luxury lingerie company but it never really took off. It wasn’t the garments that let him down, it was his choice of company name. He’ll rue the day he decided to...
what colour that dress is [i]one more time[i], I'm going to beat them white and gold....
My work as a bookkeeper is becoming more difficult. Every library in the area has a photo of me....
..over seven feet, but with a head the size of an orange, walks up to the bar in a pub and asks the barman for a pint of beer. He looks so odd that the barman can't resist asking him, "You're a huge...
Extracts from letters written by council tenants: 1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow. 2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. 3. I wish to...
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eatin...g a sandwich, begins to cough. After...
It’s so cold that when I was approached by a flasher, he could only describe himself to me!...
If we could just convince the Chinese that Jihadists’ testicles are an aphrodisiac, in 10 years they would be extinct ... "...
..........went to his doctor for his quarterly medical check. The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the old boy said, "Things are great, really very good and I’ve never felt better! I now...
-A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got...
> Everyone needs a laugh today Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and...
Trevor has had a few drinks and goes to a restaurant to eat. After a while, he needs to break wind. The music is quite loud, so he times each fart with the beat of the music. Soon he starts to feel...
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow. Death is the number one killer in the world. Life is sexually transmitted. In the 60's people took Acid to make...
Back and forth . . . . back and forth . . . . In and out . . . . in and out . . . . A little to the right . . . . a little to the left . . .. She could feel the sweat on her forehead . . . . Between...
Ed Miliband walks into a bank to cash a cheque. “Good morning”, says Ed, “could you please cash this cheque for me?” Cashier: “It would be my pleasure Sir, but could you please show me some...
If I repeatedly stab my cornflakes, does that make me a cereal killer?...
What do you call a hot chick in Essex ? A tourist I'll get me coat...
- - - bought the box set of 'Doctor Who' and watched it back to back with my friend Unfortunately I wasn't the one facing the TV...

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