Jokes in The AnswerBank

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.


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Just found out I was colour blind the other day..............that came right out of the purple.
Paddy phones for an ambulance as Murphy's been hit by a car. Operator asks where he is. He says outside 28 Eucalyptus Rd. Operator asks, "How do u spell that?" The line goes quiet for 5 minutes....
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close...
Never do a runner in an Ethiopian restaurant!
Paddy said to Mick, "I've just found a pen" Mick said, "Throw it here" He proceeded to write on a bit of paper. "It's mine!" he shouted. Paddy said, "How do you know that?" Mick replies, "Because it's...
Q : "How will I know if someone I've just met is a Vegan?" A : "If they haven't told you twice within the first thirty seconds, then they're probably not"...
A barber runs out of his shop and down to the nearest corner where a policeman is standing. "Officer," he asks, "have you seen a man run by here in the last few minutes?" "No, I haven't. What's the...
I hear Ronnie O'Sullivan is taking a holiday in Switzerland, he wants a high break.
'' He only wanted me for his own gratification,I was really touched''
An artist's model showed up late and sneezing. "I don't feel like modelling today, I hab a code" she sniffled. "Yes, that's okay, my hands are sore anyway" said the sculptor. "Just rest, and I'll make...
Dear Algebra, please stop asking us to find your X. She's never coming back, and please don't ask us Y..
Paddy rang the Ad Mag to see how much to put in an item to sell. The lady on the other end of phone told him it was 50p an inch. Paddy said F*** that, I can't afford that! The lady asked him what he...
I fell asleep on the sofa this afternoon with a corduroy cushion under my head. When I woke up a couple of hours later, it made headlines, so whats the big deal ?...
A man goes to a library and asks for a book on suicide.... Librarian stares at him for a while, then asks: Who's going to bring it back??...
I have just been to watch a dancing fish show. They were Brill....
A very attractive blonde from Cork arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and place a bet of 20,000 euros on a single roll of the dice. She said "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much...
The body of a partially decayed, elderly forestry worker was discovered in a barn, beneath a pile of logs yesterday. A police spokesman said he was a well seasoned woodsman....
Little Johnny, a fine Catholic lad, was out looking for trouble. He tripped people up on the street, threw bricks through windows, smacked folks on the top of the head, until a passing cop stopped...
large multi faith school and there was a strange boy in my class who was half Jewish and half Mormon. When I asked him where he came from, he said: "salt beef city"...
A college student was studying wildlife zoology. Ater one week the students had a test. The professor passed out a sheet of paper which was divided into 4 squares. In each square was a carefully drawn...

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