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......the gravity of this situation http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-10/enhanced/webdr02/30/11/enhanced-buzz-22209-1383145408-0.jpg...
......was having a little trouble getting her year 11 pupils to understand grammar, "These are what we call the pronouns", she said, "and the way we use them with verbs; I am, you are, he/she is..."...
.....were given an exercise - to write as short a short story as possible using three themes - religion, sexuality and mystery The only A* entry was as follows: "Good God, I'm pregnant, I wonder who...
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second...
......asks his dad for a telly in his room. He reluctantly agrees. Next day Johnny comes downstairs and asks 'Dad what is love juice?' Dad looks horrified and tells Johnny all about sex. Johnny sits...
......goes missing and he is inconsolable. His wife says to him, "why don't you put an ad in the paper to get him back". The farmer does this, but after two weeks, no phone calls, the dog is still...
.....landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in...
......who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding they went out to dinner...
....and sees his friend Darryl slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Darryl what's wrong. "Well," replies Darryl , "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an...
....is out in the back garden, digging a big deep hole. A neighbour looks over the fence and says: "Why are you digging that big deep hole?” “My goldfish died,” the sweet little girl says, with...
I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The chap said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."...
One day, 3 women went to the top of a helter skelter at the fairground. There was a black haired, brown haired, and a blonde haired woman. When they got to the top a genie appeared from nowhere and...
One day, leaning on the bar, Jack says to Mike "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a Doctor!" Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies, 'There's a new...
......that flowers have genitals - - poppycock!...
..........that George Galloway has quite got the nuances of the ice bucket challenge in the photo i saw of him - he was holding a bag of ice against the side of his face...
..........were having a big argument at breakfast, "You aren't that good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid-morning he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After...
.....a wind-up toy from 'toys r us' yesterday it's very annoying...
A pastor was in the habit of reading every word of his sermons - which were rather long and tedious. One of the congregation thought to cure him of this, and, before the service, slipped into the...
Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale. She was known as the deep C diva....
A young lady entered the police station to make a complaint. She started explaining to the officer at the desk the sequence of events. "A man drew up to the pavement in his car beside me with the...

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