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A man went on a job interview the other day. Now he was not really looking for another job, but it doesn't hurt to see what's out there. He saw a great one in the paper with much higher pay then what...
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A sweet grandmother Telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear....
A local councillor is being shown round the new vasectomy clinic that has just opened in his town. He goes to one room and looks to see a row of men vigorously masturbating. Shocked and disgusted he...
Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. She excuses herself to fetch her mum and introduce her new Friend. As her friend is standing in the living room next to the...
A marine display centre has had it's Mammal display centre closed down over quality concerns. Apparently it wasn't fit for Porpoise....
Can you say "Richard and Robert had a rabbit" - without using the "R" sound? "Dick and Bob had a bunny!"...
Duck Hunters A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two,...
Politically Correct Terms for Cat Owners My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug redecorator. My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job. My cat does not fear dogs, they are...
Pamela offered to care for the eight-year-old daughter of her next-door neighbour. She arrived in time to prepare breakfast, laying a generous helping of bacon and eggs in front of the child. "Mother...
is designed to send pips on the hour, every hour
Could someone explain this joke to me ? Two whales walk into a bar. The first whale says "WHOOOOWAGPOOOOOEEEE" The second whale says "God damnit Frank, you're already drunk....
Actual call centre conversations !!!!! Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'. Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'....
A young dating couple were driving down the road in a very busy area, when things started to get somewhat passionate. They decided to pull over and park and have some fun. Things were really getting...
it's nothing serious,and the doctors say I'm going to make a full recovery. I must warn you, though, the Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name.
A blonde got her car stuck in the snow but remembering her fathers words to follow a snow plough when it came along she began to follow it. After an hour the driver got out and told her that he was...
Why does it take longer to make a blonde snow woman than it does to make a brunette snow woman? .....because you have to hollow the head out....
One day a little girl was watching her mum do a roast beef. She cut off the ends, wrapped it in string, seasoned it and set it in the roasting pan. The little girl asked her mum why she cut off the...
A bloke buys a horse and is told by the seller that to get it to move forward he must say ' thank goodness for that ' and to make it stop he should say 'hold up there beauty ' One day he is out in the...

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