Jokes in The AnswerBank

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.


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So! I'm eating a bacon bap. The bacon starts telling funny jokes for half an hour. I thought. "You're on a roll !"...
A new type of broom has come out. It is sweeping the nation.......
One of my mates died under a falling piano... The funeral was very low key...made me think if it was orchestrated...
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work. I almost choked on my banana...
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor said I was ok but I feel as if I dyed a little inside.....
The first kind is Smurf Sex This happens during the honeymoon, you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face The second kind is Kitchen Sex This is at the beginning of the marriage, you'll have...
A farmer was sitting on his porch one day when a young man drove in and came up to the porch. "Sir, I was driving by and noticed you had a lot of milk weed in your pasture. Would you mind if I went...
A pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following...
Don't trust people that do acupuncture. They're back stabbers....
"Look at me!" boasted the fit old man, pounding a very flat and firm stomach, having just finished 100 situps before a group of young people. “Fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don’t...
Many years ago on a long flight, I asked if I could visit the cockpit. When I got up there, I found four crewmen. I asked the first what he did, and he explained, that he was the navigator and what...
My Doctor asked me for a stool sample So I gave him my IKEA catalogue ........
The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When you approach...
An old man was standing at a bus stop when a large chavvy woman with 2 kids walks over. The kids are misbehaving and she is screaming obscenities at them. The old man says to her ''Are they twins?'',...
The girl quit her job at the doughnut factory. She was fed up with the hole business.....
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic rubbish bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a £20 note fell out onto the pavement. Noticing...
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming...
Whats the difference between a catfish and a narcissist ? Ones a bottom crawling scum sucker, and the other's just a fish....
virgin like balloon one prick all gone
A Fisherman, a reel man.......

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