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Our courtship was fast and furious. I was fast and she was furious. I went out on this blind date. I was hoping for a vision, but she turned out to be a sight. I was on a date with this really...
A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there’s nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. A bachelor asks a computer dating agency to find him the perfect mate. "I want a companion...
I just turned 65 and have been divorced for 15 years. I decided life's too short so entered the dating game.I met this lovely lady,around my age,and asked if I could see her home.She said yes but if...
A group of chaps, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts, and wore...
A boss is struggling with how to calculate an invoice and calls in the handsome lad from accounts to help her. 'You graduated from university,' she says. 'If I gave you £20,000 minus 14%, how much...
.... http://oi62.tinypic.com/3463o90.jpg...
Rose accompanied her husband Tom to his annual checkup. While Tom was getting dressed, the doctor came out and said to Rose. "I don’t like the way he looks." "Neither do I,” she said. "But he’s...
The inventor of the anagram has died. May he erect a penis...
And found a present I should have given my daughter last Christmas. Shame, she would have loved a puppy....
i hear that nursing homes are starting to give Viagra to the old men living there? It's to keep them from rolling out of bed....
A little old lady goes to see her doctor. 'Doctor, I can't stop breaking wind. Thank goodness they don't make a noise and they don't smell, but it goes on all day long'. 'Well,' says the doctor, 'take...
Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down the wall of a prison As he turned and sneered at me, I thought , 'that's a little condescending'...
I was wondering why a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets.... then it hit me....
When I was ready to check out and pay for my groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note so I could complain to the manager about this security rubbish, I did just as she...
A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy...
Today at 3:25 PM ViaGRA VEndor has the answer where man's lifeless down below. Hidden clue is grave as shown above...
.........that i would very soon be taking a short trip damn right - - - - i fell down the steps exiting her caravan...
It's Mae West's birthday today (1892). Wikipedia has "I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it"...
She dug the plot on Monday The soil was rich and fine She forgot to thaw out dinner So we went out to dine She planted roses Tuesday She says they are a must They really are quite lovely But she quite...
Police attend the home of an amateur astronomer after woman is heard shouting angrily. 'He invited me over to look through his telescope,' the woman explains to the officer. 'But then the dirty old so...

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