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A young lady entered the police station to make a complaint. She started explaining to the officer at the desk the sequence of events. "A man drew up to the pavement in his car beside me with the...
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....... your opinions on alternative energies? here's mine https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQFuiALuEAu1f4seHWIIC6wVirCsEDlxb0tACYMU0fCvLXr6Ub1...
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Boy Meets Girl in Park Girl Meets Boy in Park Boy Parks Meat in Girl !...
Girl went to the doctor for a routine examination. The doctor said "Big breaths". The girl replied. "Yeth and i'm only thixteen!...
Sent from Windows Mail Mouse balls and mouse ball inspector I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face. This was an actual memo sent out by IBM to its employees in all seriousness. It went...
Late in the night he regained consciousness. He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him....
Mr. Johnson walked anxiously to the house and knocked on the door. When a nice old lady answered, he said very sadly. "I’m sorry madam, but I have some bad news. I’m afraid I have run over your...
Heard about the Hereford farmer who married a cow? He had to....
Heard about that dedicated Man U fan, Gromit, who lost £50 on the MK Dons game? He lost £25 on the game and £25 on the instant replay! (sorry gromit - couldn't happen to a finer team)...
http://tinypic.com/2qxywxi.jpg Hope this works after my last poor attempt....
A small grandson got lost in Sainsburys, he approached a uniformed security guard and said, "I've lost my grandpa!" "The guard asked, "What's he like?" The little fellow hesitated for a moment and...
These children were asked to tell a sea tale. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6) Oysters balls are called pearls. (James age 6) If you are surrounded by sea, you...
A fellow was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him. "I have some good news and some bad news," says the...
"And the final question to win the £100 is : "The title of Take That's first album consisted of four words, the first two words were "Take That". What other two words complete the title?" There was a...
I gather that one of the treatments for Ebola is toast.....It's the only thing they can get under the door....
I’m saving up for a rainy day. So far I’ve got a sou’wester, two raincoats and a canoe. Tom arrives at a hotel in a Scottish village on a cold, grey, drizzly day. The weather remains the same...
.........what the new secret ingredient was...
Went to Marks & Sparks today. Really disappointed. The place was spotless, not a blemish. And the electrical wiring was tip top. So there were no marks and no sparks....

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