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An extremely shy fellow once brought his date a bouquet of flowers. She threw her arms around him and kissed him long and hard. After the kiss, he turned and bolted for the door. She exclaimed, "Oh!...
I've just arrived at one of those Swiss suicide clinics.Costing​ me £44,000 Do you know what the have given me for breakfast this morning? “Cheerios"....
A guy gets home from work one night and hears a little voice. The little voice tells him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." The man is disturbed at what he hears and...
The head of an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality. "We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation," she said, "ask yourself just...
This joke by Smudge first had an airing in 2009. I love it so thought I'd repost. Thank you Smudge. A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young...
Q. How do rednecks celebrate Halloween ? A. Pump kin....
The difference between big and small Big Busted Women Can get a taxi on the worst days Have a neat place to carry spare change Make jogging a spectator sport Can keep a magazine dry while lying in the...
It seems when the creator was making the world, he called man aside and bestowed upon him twenty (20) years of normal sex life. Man was horrified: "Only 20 years?" The creator did not budge and that...
Dr. Sqad was brought up on charges at the medical board. He had, it seemed, uttered the vilest profanity to his nurse. He explained, "Let me tell you what happened. My alarm didn't go off, so I woke...
A lady was searching the shelves in her local Pharmacy when the Pharmacist approached her & said can I help you madam she replied I'm looking for a good hair restorer. He said this one is the best...
Two daughters were having a discussion about family resemblance. "I look like Mum," said the nine-year-old, "but I have Dad's eyes and Dad's lips." The six-year-old said, "And I look just like Dad,...
http://oi62.tinypic.com/2sa111v.jpg...
A woman was playing golf when she took a big swing and fell. The party waiting behind her was a group of politicians. A man quickly stepped forward and helped her to her feet. She thanked him and...
Pinched from Mock the Week but still making me laugh If 2% is the answer, what is the question? The percentage of Americans who think we should invade Ebola.....
“Mary, I'm just having one more pint with the lads. If I'm not home in 20 minutes, read this message again.”...
New drugs for men created by women scientists are waiting for NICE approval. ANIVERSIA: Triggers memories for birthdays and anniversaries... SLIMOXIL: Widens male cornea making wives appear slim......
....goes into a German car showroom & shouts Audi.........
....I said to my German friend, "what's that piece of meat doing in the boot of your car? He said, "it's my spare veal."...
Marriage...the way kids look at it Subject: How do you decide who to marry? (written by kids) 1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that...
..the Morse code operators daughter but she did it, did it, did it...

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