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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

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Patsy33
There was a bit of row going on at the airport. A young man had too much in his luggage to board plane. What a carry on!......
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Jackdaw33
...corned beef and potato. I keep making a hash of it.
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marval
I am a Beekeeper. My friends say I'm a nightmare to play scrabble with....
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Samjenko
(apologies in advance) When his flight was delayed by fog a traveller rang the airline help desk to enquire if compensation was available. An agent replied that they did for certain weather related...
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Patsy33
I hate it when I get a splinter. I hope I never get another. Touch wood......
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DTCwordfan
An out-ta county man checks into the Tyacks Hotel, an old inn in the centre of Camborne. He calls down to reception - "Help, I gotta leak in my sink." The receptionist - "That's alright, Sir. Please...
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DTCwordfan
A man walks into the Camborne branch of Boots. He says to the woman behind the counter, "Could I have a packet of condoms, please, miss?" Indignantly, the woman says, "Don't you "Miss" me!" "Sorry,...
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DTCwordfan
My mater comes from Camborne - down here we take the proverbial out of West Cornwall as to in-breeding and six fingers - seven on the Lizard) As to Camborne.... Two Camborne girls are in the pub,...
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Shaglene
In the great days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel. After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin...
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Dinapal
Sean is the vicar of a Protestant parish in Southern Ireland, and Patrick is the priest at the Roman Catholic Church across the road. One day they are seen together, erecting a sign which says; ‘The...
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Patsy33
I used to have a friend called Page Turner. She told so many lies but I could read her like a book........
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Chipchopper
Thousands of people accross the UK have decided not to venture out and take a day off from work. They're calling it a Doris Day....
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-SharonA-
My husband has just left me because of my obsession with Motown, he never told me ......... But I heard it through the grapevine......................
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percy1946
A little boy asked his mother if they had mice in their house. No son, replied his mother, why do you ask? Well I woke up in the night and heard Dad say "quick, catch it in your nightie. !!!...
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Patsy33
I used to have an invisible boyfriend, but I'm seeing someone else now.......
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melv16
... Has just been promoted to chief commissioner of the MET police. Will she now be having a relationship with Ed Balls?...
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Bazile
I went to the doctor yesterday , for a check up I sat down by his desk. '' I need a urine sample '' he said. '' fill that bottle over there on the table by the window '' he said. " What - from here ?"...
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Dinapal
> > > Some people miss the old kind of (Yiddish) humour. Not a single swear word in their comic routines as shown below: > > > A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you...
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Shaglene
A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try...
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Patsy33
TWERK 1. Dancing mainly using bum in a provokedly sexy way. 2. Where Yorkshiremen go Mon - Fri, 9am - 5pm....

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