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twazerk

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crisgal
there are some punchlines that make me laugh, without hearing the joke - if you know what I mean. like: I'm sorry vicar, i thought you said a goat! and Half past two! does anyone know what I mean? Do...
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terambulan
A guy is 65 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,'Pick me up'. He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he...
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osprey
As the Romulans ( and others ) have a cloaking device, why didn't the United Federation of Planets develop a similar kind of device? Was it because they thought it wrong to cloak themselves as it...
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Welsh Git
A wheelie bin.
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BillySugger
A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, "Mummy, why is my name Petal?" The mother replied, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on...
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twazerk
Does anyone remember a kids show in the early 70's where people were trapped ( I think ) in a house and outside in a field big rocks kept getting closer and closer everytime they checked. Or had my...
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zzxxee
what the hell do they mean at the end of the stupid song golden pips of a sunshine princess hate the add want to kill hunny monsters
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katie28
hi there can anyone help i have a asrta diesel 2.0 was driving fine then suddenly cut out got it towed by rac to garage they say its the fuel pump and it will be about a grand to fix. Is this right or...
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Sfanninguk
Does anyone know the name of the Chieftains track used on a Guinness advert in 1982?
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Topsie
Hi I am trying to change the cambelt on my 1999 1.8 Zetec Mondeo. But cannot see any markings on the cam shaft pully apart from 3 indents. I have seen about using a timing pin to line up, how does...
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mightyWBA
What repetitive ad or topic gets on your nerves?
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terambulan
Any idea how to switch on radio....there does not seem to be any power in the radio?
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Terene
I am desperate ... I really need a code for my radio ... GM90 506 173 1 614 438 PA6-GF15 Can anyone help please? My son thought he was being helpful cleaning the car - and the little so and so left...
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Leight0n
goes to the jewellers and says "Can that mek us a gold statue o mi dog?" The jeweller replies "Duz that want it 18 carat?" The bloke say "No, chewin a bone yer daft tw*t!"
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blue toon
hi can anyone give me a rough idea as to what it would cost to replace the rear subframe bushes
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funnygirl
An Irishman took his sandwich into the police station and asked them to take a look cos there was a piece of wire hanging out of it and he thought it might be a bomb. "Is it ticking?" asked the...
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Lakitu
We are about to enter the BBQ season, therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following...
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stormrogue
As you may have guessed from the question I am a complete dunce when it comes to cars but I need two new tyres for the wifes Ford Ka and Kwik Fit said the tracking needs doing Cost ?112 . I have...
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twazerk
We are about to move our hot tub in our garden and need some cable to power it in it's new location, my local electrical factors stock armoured cable that is just the job but they don't know what...
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twazerk
I live in South Yorkshire, does anyone know how much my doctors practice gets to have me on the books? I never visit my doctors as you have to arrange to be ill around 6 weeks in advance and run the...

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