On holiday I walked into the sea holding a jar of salsa. I had some very funny looks from people. One man said, " What ARE you doing?" I said, " I'm taking a dip"..........
A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsnic. He asks "What for?" "I want to kill my husband" He says " Sorry, I can't do that" She then reaches into her handbag and pulls out...
I took my grandchildren to our local farm, as the Farmer Mr. Barnyard, kindly said we could visit anytime. My neighbours warned me he likes to gossip, a muckraker......
I accidentally dropped a chip on moody daughter's shoulder while having dinner. Looking at her I said, " You've got a chip on your shoulder" She got angry and all defensive saying it must be my fault....
Anyone seen trailer of new Ricky Gervais film? It's called Life on The Road, which is out in August. David Brent returns to the Office all excited to tell everyone about his new life in a band....
1. Prep a pal on two points about possible amusement for child.(5,5) 2.Ground coffee lets a warm touch materialise. (4,6) 3.Precocious company was thrown out. It was priceless! (8) 4.For something...
I was wondering the other day what our parents must have done for entertainment before television was popular and affordable! I asked my 38 brothers and sisters if they had any ideas, but none of them...
Daffy duck calls down to the hotel desk and asks for a condom. The person on phone asks if he should put it on his bill. "Don't be thupid you thilly man. I'll thuffocate!".......
There is discord in the orchestra. In the string section, the guitarist accuses someone in the brass section of blowing their own trumpet, and told him to tone it down. The trumpeter looked at...
"How do you become a mummy?" asked little Tommy to his mother. "Oh god, here we go" she thought. So she awkwardly began to explain. "Well, two people who love each other, like mummy and daddy, get...
1. Win staple for her? (8) 2.Somehow trap one before intelligence service finds her (8) 3.Anyway, let a torch find her (9) 4.As brain is confused, can you find her? (7) 5.Maiden is engulfed (6) 6.Oi!...