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marval

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richardjhoop

You might of heard this one....

A lady enters a carpet warehouse and, as all the assistants are busy with other customers, she decides to browse among the many articles on display until she comes to a beautiful Persian hand-woven...
22:39 Sat 04th Apr 20094 answers, last by weecalf 09:47 Tue 07th Apr 2009
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tigwig

Anyone else as sad as me?!

My daughter attended her last ever morning only place at school yesterday. She will go full time after the Easter hols. While she is looking forward to it, I am putting a very brave face on for her...
19:39 Sat 04th Apr 200922 answers, last by Ice.Maiden 02:16 Tue 07th Apr 2009
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tiggerblue10

The Grand National

Who else is completely not interested in this?
14:21 Sat 04th Apr 200936 answers, last by no-knowledge 17:25 Sat 04th Apr 2009
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McMouse

OK, I will top myself

There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deerskin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant, and the first two each had a baby boy. The one...
14:15 Sat 04th Apr 20095 answers, last by McMouse 00:40 Sun 05th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Just before I go for a midday pint

Back in the 1800's the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made watch cases, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so...
14:12 Sat 04th Apr 20093 answers, last by no-knowledge 14:27 Sat 04th Apr 2009
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McMouse

This is really bad for a Saturday

A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out...
14:08 Sat 04th Apr 20094 answers, last by notafish 19:38 Mon 06th Apr 2009
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20SilkCut

The New Password

THE NEW PASSWORD A woman was helping her husband set up his new computer, and at the appropriate time in the process, told him he would now need to enter a password. Something he would use to log-on....
23:26 Fri 03rd Apr 20095 answers, last by langfleer 04:15 Tue 21st Feb 2012
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daneswalk

big day

big day tomorrow we celebrate 56 years of marriage and we are still going strong no big celebration just a nice dinner in a restaurant with the two of us
22:43 Fri 03rd Apr 200924 answers, last by Jan1957 01:00 Sat 04th Apr 2009
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McMouse

I really must get out more!

A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of...
17:37 Fri 03rd Apr 20091 answer, last by marval 23:06 Fri 03rd Apr 2009
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McMouse

And a close runner-up

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I...
17:33 Fri 03rd Apr 20091 answer, last by marval 23:05 Fri 03rd Apr 2009
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jaynethepain

Stain removal - marker pen off leather

My son went out in some new leather trainers recently, fell asleep at a friends house and when he woke up, found one of his mates had drawn on his white leather trainers in black marker! Should we...
11:10 Fri 03rd Apr 20098 answers, last by ruthann58 20:36 Fri 03rd Apr 2009
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McMouse

be careful what you wish for

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours ?" "I'll...
11:52 Thu 02nd Apr 20096 answers, last by Beatrice35 16:30 Fri 03rd Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Be a-freud; be very a-freud!

A man goes to his psychiatrist. "Doctor, you've got to help me," he says. "I keep thinking that I'm a well-known psychoanalyst." "How long has this been going on?" asks the shrink. "Well," the man...
10:43 Fri 03rd Apr 20098 answers, last by chrisrob 10:44 Sat 04th Apr 2009
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McMouse

When Cardboard Men Come In Handy

A car gets a puncture on the motorway one day. The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the car and opens the boot. She takes out two cardboard men,...
15:23 Fri 03rd Apr 20093 answers, last by carlton23 00:05 Sat 04th Apr 2009
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McMouse

A Woman had a facelift for her 50th birthday

She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but...
15:27 Fri 03rd Apr 20094 answers, last by terambulan 20:37 Sat 04th Apr 2009
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marval

Watch where you sit.

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her, she began feeling humiliated because of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more...
22:53 Wed 01st Apr 20092 answers, last by marval 19:22 Thu 02nd Apr 2009
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McMouse

Old Age

At a nursing home a group of OAP's were sitting around talking about all their ailments. "My arms have become so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know," said another. "My...
11:03 Thu 02nd Apr 20093 answers, last by Nannyjillx2 19:22 Thu 02nd Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Not a pun - just good clean fun

A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious someone was at home but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. He took out a card and wrote,...
12:56 Thu 02nd Apr 20094 answers, last by Nannyjillx2 19:50 Thu 02nd Apr 2009
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McMouse

Bragging Rights

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said,...
18:25 Wed 01st Apr 20091 answer, last by marval 22:43 Wed 01st Apr 2009
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marval

Careful what you say

A married man left work early one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, however, he spent the weekend (and his money) partying with the boys. When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife...
17:29 Tue 31st Mar 20095 answers, last by marval 15:45 Wed 01st Apr 2009

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