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madiba

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Jemisa

The End. No More.

Although this is not a joke I thought I'd put it here for joke fans to see. From now on I am abstaining from contributing any more jokes. I have found of late certain people have spoilt the fun of...
00:06 Thu 23rd Aug 201260 answers, last by ELVIS68 20:48 Fri 24th Aug 2012
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smurfchops

Time to get an iPhone

OK its about time. I want to get an iPhone. I have a 'normal' mobile Nokia at the moment. I want something easy to use, to make calls easily obviously, good camera, battery lasting a fair while, what...
18:56 Tue 21st Aug 201226 answers, last by tistis 08:22 Wed 19th Jun 2013
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dave50

Why are people who are fighting a life threatening illness referred to as being 'brave'?

While not making light of it, surely it is the most basic human instinct to fight for life, I don't think bravery comes into it at all.
16:36 Tue 14th Aug 201238 answers, last by Lonnie 17:50 Tue 21st Aug 2012
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magicmick

Olympic Condoms

Husband says "just got some Olympic condoms "I think I will wear gold tonight" so wife said "why not wear silver and come second for once"
23:20 Mon 13th Aug 20126 answers, last by vivandorron 18:50 Tue 14th Aug 2012
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lankeela

Three babies were mixed up in the maternity ward

The three fathers were asked to draw straws to choose one. The fathers were an Englishman, and Australian and a Pakistani. The Aussie drew the longest straw and went in to choose. He came out with a...
18:29 Fri 10th Aug 20124 answers, last by marval 19:11 Fri 10th Aug 2012
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dizzyduck

British Gas Scam?

Today I received a call purporting to come from B. Gas - a recorded message asked me to press any key. I was suspicious of this so cut off the call. Is this some sort of scam?
18:26 Mon 06th Aug 20124 answers, last by madiba 05:15 Tue 07th Aug 2012
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madiba

Dan's Dad

Turns out Man Utd's Danny Welbeck's daddy served in Belfast as an army bomb disposal expert. His name is Stan....
23:28 Sun 05th Aug 20129 answers, last by Kiki-frog 09:45 Mon 06th Aug 2012
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madiba

Fishing Trip

They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune. The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch...
20:10 Sat 04th Aug 20124 answers, last by Starbuckone 22:36 Sat 04th Aug 2012
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madiba

Olympics

First sailing results are in. Britain have taken gold, the USA have taken silver and Somalia have taken a middle-aged couple from Weymouth.
00:28 Sat 04th Aug 20125 answers, last by Jemisa 12:17 Sat 04th Aug 2012
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marval

No More

When the jumbo jet on its way to Charles de Gaulle got up in the air, the loudspeaker came on: "This is your captain Emilia Rodriguez speaking. We are cruising at 35,000 feet,...
17:33 Fri 03rd Aug 201217 answers, last by madiba 00:16 Sat 04th Aug 2012
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HowardKennitby

Cricket Test

South Africa off to a good start. Perhaps bowling first was not such a good choice.
13:14 Thu 02nd Aug 20125 answers, last by madiba 17:30 Fri 03rd Aug 2012
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marval

Confession

A very elderly couple are having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding university. The old man leans forward and softly says to his wife, "Dear, there is something that I must ask...
20:52 Fri 27th Jul 20128 answers, last by flump1 12:56 Sat 28th Jul 2012
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sidkid

A 54 year old woman

had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43...
10:51 Thu 26th Jul 20123 answers, last by tenrec 08:52 Sat 28th Jul 2012
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starone

Men

1. Men are like Laxatives - they irritate the crap out of you. 2. Men are like Bananas - the older they get, the less firm they are. 3. Men are like Weather - nothing can be done to change them. 4....
23:10 Wed 25th Jul 201226 answers, last by marval 16:43 Thu 26th Jul 2012
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madiba

Proverb

WHOEVER coined the phrase 'cleanliness is next to godliness' was talking out of his backside. I looked them up in the dictionary last night. Godly and godsend are next to godliness. Cleanliness was...
20:33 Wed 25th Jul 20125 answers, last by magicmick 00:40 Thu 26th Jul 2012
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madiba

Ladies Tennis

WHY DO women tennis players make such a loud grunt every time they hit the ball? If the act of hitting a ball is so difficult for them, perhaps they should stick to more ladylike pastimes such as...
13:45 Wed 25th Jul 201215 answers, last by Starbuckone 19:41 Wed 25th Jul 2012
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Duncer

A thug, a racist, an adulterer and a footballer.........

....................walk into a bar. The barman says "What can I get for you Mr Terry"....
21:07 Mon 23rd Jul 20128 answers, last by Duncer 08:13 Wed 25th Jul 2012
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marval

Lucky?

Dear sirs, Last Saturday I purchased two of your so-called 'Lucky Dip' tickets. However neither of them turned out to be lucky and I lost all my money. In what sense do you consider my tickets to have...
09:25 Mon 23rd Jul 201211 answers, last by tenrec 15:07 Mon 23rd Jul 2012
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marval

Rules

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the...
10:37 Sun 22nd Jul 20122 answers, last by Starbuckone 13:45 Mon 23rd Jul 2012
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marval

Caught Speeding

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have...
21:54 Thu 19th Jul 201210 answers, last by excelsior-1 08:59 Sun 22nd Jul 2012

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