An elderly couple in their seventies walk into a An elderly couple in their seventies walk into a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?' The man says, 'Will you watch us...
A woman's husband comes home drunk every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone. One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she's...
Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day...... There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he...
Financial Avice in these dark times. If you had purchased ?1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth ?4.95, with HBOS, earlier this week your ?1000 would have been worth ?16.50,...
According to the papers 1.72m people were out of work last month. Terrible isn't it? I'd have thought discrimination on grounds of your height was illegal.
A student comes to a young professor's office. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair,...
I went to the butchers today. I said "how much are your pies?" He said 2 for "?1.50". I said "how much for one?" He said "?1." I said "i'll have the other one!!"
I was round Liverpool with my mate the other day when some scousers started squaring up to us. "Pretend we're the police," my mate whispered to me. They kicked the **** out of me before I even got to...
The anniversary tomorrow of course is of the hunt for Osama Bin Laden. Seven years we've been searching for him, and still no sign of him. Then again, after seven years you can have a missing person...
Scientists at CERN today switched on the Large Hadron Collider, and claim there is no chance the world will end from the black holes they create. I don't trust them. CERN stands for European Nuclear...
Some doctor on television this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished...
One morning a man comes into church on crutches. He stops in front of the holy water and splashes some of it on both of his legs, then throws away his crutches. An altar boy witnessed the episode and...
