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Hopkirk

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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I really hate puns about elements in the periodic table. They should bury 'em....
07:34 Wed 08th Feb 20237 answers, last by johnny.5 10:22 Wed 08th Feb 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I can tell I'm getting old because my kids don't want to listen to Whitesnake with me, so here I go again on my own.
07:52 Tue 07th Feb 20231 answer, last by Patsy33 13:36 Tue 07th Feb 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Why do riot police get up super early? To beat the crowds....
09:12 Mon 06th Feb 20235 answers, last by dustypuss 15:57 Mon 06th Feb 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My kitchen floor is sticky, and I had to do something about it. So finally I went out and bought some slippers....
09:01 Sat 04th Feb 20235 answers, last by mallyh 13:54 Sat 04th Feb 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My wife can't stop buying magazines. She's got issues....
08:28 Fri 03rd Feb 20234 answers, last by Patsy33 15:16 Fri 03rd Feb 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him. “Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The...
08:14 Thu 02nd Feb 20237 answers, last by jaffa19471 08:58 Fri 03rd Feb 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

If you jumped off a bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine....
07:42 Wed 01st Feb 20237 answers, last by zebo 13:04 Wed 01st Feb 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

This sentence contains exactly threee erors.
07:50 Tue 31st Jan 20235 answers, last by murraymints 08:22 Tue 31st Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad....
08:01 Mon 30th Jan 20239 answers, last by Patsy33 15:38 Mon 30th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

I'm So Angry

with the holiday company "On The Beach". They have taken a jolly Christmas song and ruined it forever....
20:00 Sun 29th Jan 202332 answers, last by Ellipsis 17:53 Mon 30th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Yesterday morning I went past the cemetery, and I saw four guys walking around carrying a coffin. I went back past in the evening, and they were still carrying it. I think they've lost the plot....
09:06 Sun 29th Jan 20235 answers, last by brian j john 16:54 Sun 29th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

The other day a woman described me as a bit of a looker. Well , voyeur was the actual word used....
08:31 Sat 28th Jan 20233 answers, last by Ken4155 14:17 Sat 28th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion....
09:54 Fri 27th Jan 20233 answers, last by murraymints 06:57 Sat 28th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

The hardest part of making skimmed milk must be throwing the cows across the lake.
07:46 Thu 26th Jan 202311 answers, last by Ken4155 14:34 Thu 26th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Electricity Reduction

I don't think the authorities have noticed a flaw in their demand reduction scheme. Customers are financially rewarded for reducing consumption compared with their normal usage. What this will do is...
08:15 Wed 25th Jan 20237 answers, last by barry1010 15:27 Wed 25th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I opened a chocolate bar and on the inside of the wrapper it said "You're a loser". I wouldn't have minded, but there was no competition on. To make things worse, it was a Boost....
07:47 Wed 25th Jan 20234 answers, last by Patsy33 14:17 Wed 25th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I saw a man with a wheelbarrow full of horseshoes and four leaf clovers. Talk about pushing your luck....
07:40 Tue 24th Jan 20234 answers, last by Canary42 09:47 Tue 24th Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back....
07:44 Mon 23rd Jan 202311 answers, last by Ken4155 13:55 Mon 23rd Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away....
08:16 Sun 22nd Jan 20236 answers, last by Patsy33 19:07 Sun 22nd Jan 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

(For full transparency I must declare that this is copied from a listener's input on the Ken Bruce show on Radio 2 yesterday.) I went to see my doctor the other day. "Doctor" I said "I keep mentioning...
10:05 Sat 21st Jan 202312 answers, last by bobbinwales 22:44 Sat 21st Jan 2023

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