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I made this up!

I said to my wife "Hey fatty, what do you want for your birthday?" She said "Don't get Fluffing lippy!" Mascara it is then.......
19:27 Sat 05th Mar 20111 answer, last by NazNomad 19:28 Sat 05th Mar 2011
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Well!!

Chicken and egg walk into a bar, barman says "Right, who's first?"
15:59 Sat 05th Mar 20111 answer, last by NazNomad 16:01 Sat 05th Mar 2011
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I was on a plane coming home last night.

The flight attendant said to me, "Sir, can you please put your belt back on". I said, "Why me?" She said, "Because your trousers are down to your knees and your penis is...
21:04 Tue 01st Mar 20111 answer, last by funnygirl 23:12 Tue 01st Mar 2011
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A man lay in bed next to his wife

She asked him "How would you feel if I told you i used to be a hooker?" The husband replied "I'd be upset but I'd deal with it." "Okay then" She said, "My name was...
20:57 Tue 01st Mar 20116 answers, last by Avatar 17:10 Thu 03rd Mar 2011
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The Killing

Who dun it?
18:30 Sun 27th Feb 20111 answer, last by scotman 22:02 Sun 27th Feb 2011
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Is this funny?

A chunk of play-dough was forced through my front door this morning, I didn't know what to make of it.
15:55 Sun 27th Feb 20113 answers, last by joggerjayne 21:50 Sun 27th Feb 2011
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While writing an essay

i suddenly thought 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence....
21:25 Fri 25th Feb 20117 answers, last by cupid04 11:28 Wed 23rd Oct 2013
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Am i on a roll?

A skinhead and his girlfriend were walking down the road when she spotted a beautiful diamond ring in the window. "Wow," she said, "I would sure like to have that!" "No...
21:01 Fri 25th Feb 20112 answers, last by NazNomad 21:04 Fri 25th Feb 2011
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After years of research -

A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression. Its called trycoxagain....
20:54 Fri 25th Feb 20115 answers, last by JonnyBoy12 21:02 Fri 25th Feb 2011
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Circular Saw Blades

Just a quickie!About to buy a new blade, How many teeth is best on a Hand held circular saw when for general use. Blade diameter 185mm
13:01 Wed 23rd Feb 20114 answers, last by richardscowann71 15:38 Tue 04th Sep 2018
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Drilling Glass

Any tips on how to drill 5mm holes in 4mm glass. Thanks
16:53 Sat 19th Feb 20118 answers, last by terence7556 08:05 Sun 20th Feb 2011
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Dirty Joke!

I was stood in the chemist and i said to the lady behind the counter. "Do you have anything that will clear up diarrhea?" "We have some Imodium plus, if that's what you mean" She...
20:04 Fri 18th Feb 20115 answers, last by kawakiri 10:35 Sat 19th Feb 2011
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Smile

Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker. It was just After Eight.They got off at Quality Street. He asked her name, "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said with a Wispa. "I'm...
10:13 Tue 15th Feb 20117 answers, last by Metaphysicalus 19:14 Sun 20th Feb 2011
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From our Pub Quiz last night Had our team stumped.

Cluck cluck cluck, Mwaaaaaaack, cluck cluck cluck!.
20:39 Mon 07th Feb 20112 answers, last by Groupie 21:35 Mon 07th Feb 2011
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My neighbour knocked on my door at 3am yesterday,

f*cking 3am!, I was shocked. Lucky I was still up playing my drums....
20:29 Mon 07th Feb 20115 answers, last by JonnyBoy12 12:42 Mon 14th Feb 2011
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Well is this Racist or funny?

A 6' 6" Irishman finds a magic lantern and after giving it a rub he is granted a wish.... "I wish for a smaller body so my c0ck will look bigger"
11:07 Sun 06th Feb 201127 answers, last by DTcrosswordfan 23:39 Sun 06th Feb 2011
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Racist or not?

2 lrishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house. Paddy picks up a nail, realises it's upside down and throws it away. He carries on doing this until Murphy says "Why are you throwing them...
19:38 Wed 02nd Feb 201125 answers, last by horseshoes 19:25 Sat 05th Feb 2011
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Goldfinches

After just putting birdfood on our 2 birdtables,we sat with our usual cup of tea to watch the morning charge for the seeds,when to our surprise on one table there were TEN Goldfinches we have never...
10:31 Wed 02nd Feb 201112 answers, last by brenda 21:54 Wed 09th Feb 2011

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