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cojones

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cojones

This'll drive you nuts

A long-term inmate at a mental home was made a trusty as he didn't appear to be a danger and he was put to work in the kitchens. One day he had a complete mental breakdown and sexually assaulted the...
18:04 Sat 12th Mar 20117 answers, last by RATTER15 23:41 Thu 17th Mar 2011
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denis567

Government Contract

Sent to me today by email. Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken wall at 10 Downing Street; one from London, another from Bristol, and the third from Liverpool. They go with a government...
22:32 Mon 14th Mar 20115 answers, last by junaid27 13:58 Mon 24th Jun 2019
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D143237G

Missing the point

I have noticed over the past few weeks that there are hardly any jokes printed on AB that I have not heard before many many times or even worse ones that were posted only a few days before being...
15:37 Tue 15th Mar 201116 answers, last by Loobylou68 00:09 Thu 24th Nov 2016
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Jemisa

Masculine or Feminine?

A teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is...
21:52 Wed 09th Mar 20118 answers, last by cojones 18:07 Sat 12th Mar 2011
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Jemisa

The Widow!

Three Irishmen were working on a high-rise building project - Paddy, Mick and Dec. Dec falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Mick says, 'Someone should go and tell...
10:31 Sat 19th Feb 20114 answers, last by cojones 20:06 Mon 21st Feb 2011
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smurfchops

Double Entendres part two

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did...
21:57 Tue 25th Jan 20117 answers, last by fourteen85 14:09 Thu 27th Jan 2011
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Jemisa

If I - Will You?

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of quid for a dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted...
01:15 Mon 10th Jan 20112 answers, last by cojones 19:50 Thu 13th Jan 2011
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Groupie

I was used in a reconstruction of a murdered campanologist for Crimewatch. I was a dead ringer.

. I was a dead ringer....
14:07 Tue 07th Dec 20103 answers, last by cojones 01:06 Wed 08th Dec 2010
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cojones

Talking about confessions........

A young man goes to Confession and the Father says "What are your sins my son?" And the youth answers "well, I think I'm gay." And the priest asks "What makes you think you're...
01:22 Sat 04th Dec 20105 answers, last by DTcrosswordfan 14:05 Sun 05th Dec 2010
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cojones

Morning sex

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and...
00:50 Sat 04th Dec 201013 answers, last by marval 18:34 Sat 04th Dec 2010
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AB Editor

One day God calls down to Noah...

One day God calls down to Noah and says "Noah, I want you to make me a new Ark". Noah replies, "No probs God, anything you want after all you're the boss". But God interrupts,...
18:00 Wed 24th Nov 20107 answers, last by piggynose 22:51 Wed 24th Nov 2010
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cojones

Rich man, poor man............................

A rich man and a poor man were talking about the presents they bought their wives for their birthdays. The rich man said "I bought her a diamond ring and a Mercedes, If she doesn't like the ring...
20:51 Wed 17th Nov 20101 answer, last by cojones 20:52 Wed 17th Nov 2010
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crisgal

remember Batty Books?

i was trying to think of some titles to tell the kids. Seems they are just as funny to a nine year kid today as they were forty years ago! I could only remember: Rusty Bedsprings by I P Nightly Angry...
23:56 Fri 08th Oct 201025 answers, last by Ian1 15:00 Fri 01st Oct 2021
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EDDIE51

Legless date.

A guy takes a girl out on a date she is in a wheel chair as she lost both legs in an accident. They have a great time and at the end they decide to have sex. How are we going to manage it ? asks the...
22:53 Wed 29th Sep 20108 answers, last by craft1948 18:34 Thu 30th Sep 2010
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AB Editor

What flies and wobbles?

A jellycopter.
14:39 Tue 28th Sep 201031 answers, last by horseshoes 23:56 Tue 28th Sep 2010
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ttfn

Patience Is A Virtue

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle,...
20:08 Wed 22nd Sep 20108 answers, last by lindylou16 15:34 Thu 23rd Sep 2010
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lilsecret

cojones

You having another bad day?
13:35 Tue 21st Sep 201027 answers, last by ttfn 01:51 Wed 22nd Sep 2010
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cojones

PC

Have you seen how I have just been silenced by the PC mob. ummmmmm. I replied to you but they have whiped it out. They do not know who they are dealing with because they are truly going to be...
12:56 Tue 21st Sep 201015 answers, last by jackthehat 13:26 Tue 21st Sep 2010
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cojones

I am sorry

I am sorry that that every day I enter into this web page to try and and find a joke that makes me, at least, chuckle. There are some that are truly indeed funny but most make me question if it is...
12:37 Tue 21st Sep 20106 answers, last by cojones 12:44 Tue 21st Sep 2010
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berniecuddles

george michael

george is settling in to prison life extremely well he is sharing a cell with a skin head and has just wrote a new song titled. # hairless fister #
11:41 Wed 15th Sep 20104 answers, last by cojones 23:07 Wed 15th Sep 2010

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