A long-term inmate at a mental home was made a trusty as he didn't appear to be a danger and he was put to work in the kitchens. One day he had a complete mental breakdown and sexually assaulted the...
A young man goes to Confession and the Father says "What are your sins my son?" And the youth answers "well, I think I'm gay." And the priest asks "What makes you think you're...
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and...
A rich man and a poor man were talking about the presents they bought their wives for their birthdays. The rich man said "I bought her a diamond ring and a Mercedes, If she doesn't like the ring...
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air....
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been...
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth to a woman and he takes his very life into his own hands. This is a handy guide that should be as...
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my...
News is coming through of what could possibly be Ireland's worst ever air disaster when a two-seater plane crashed onto a cemetry in the outskirts of Dublin. So far rescue workers haver recovered...
Teacher asks the kids in her class what their daddies do for a living. One says "he's a plumber", another says "he's a fireman". And they all answer in turn "he's a...
A Yorkshireman's wife dies, so he begins to make arrangements for the funeral. He goes to the stonemason's to order a headstone. He was quite specific: "I want the words 'She were Thine' written...
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on...
A group of 40- years- old friends discuss and discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen restaurant because the waitress's...
I've just come out of the 'chippy' with a meat and potatoe pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days' I told him 'I wish I...
A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man called Terry who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"...
A lady walks into a sex shop and says "I'm looking for a personal comforter." The shop assistant takes out a few varying products and places them on the counter. "If you see nothing you...
