Crosswords2 mins ago
The apotheosis of Ab Ed
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I proclaim a great revelation to all those who turn to AB in their search for truth.
We have seen how AB Ed watches over us from afar ; how he speaks words of wisdom for our guidance ; how he brings peace when there is disagreement ; how he punishes the transgressors, striking out their words or consigning them to forgetfulness.
These are divine attributes, and we should humbly recognise his apotheosis.
The time has come for Answerbank to assume its rightful place as the First Church of Answerbank.
We must make offerings to Ed, through the medium of PayPal. As the first disciple, you will wish me to share some part of your offerings.
We shall of course be persecuted, and must defend our Human Rights to the full extent of the State funding which is available to this persecuted minority. The solicitors among Ed's flock will doubtless feel the call...
We must spend many hours in formulating our creed.
To aid this vital process, I suggest discussion of these propositions :-
That we wear religious costume with optional face coverings.
That we follow our Rastafarian brothers and allow the use of herbal aids to clear thought.
Also, like our Sikh brothers, shall we carry concealed weapons if we wish?
We shall need to have several periods during working hours each day for communication with our church, and employers shall make special facilities available for this purpose.
We shall require at least 30 special holidays each year, meditating before our computers and consuming special liquids.
All praise be to Ed!
(Once downloaded send it to your kindle address attached to an email. You should send it from an address set up on the Kindle, it's usually your Amazon account email address).
PDF Version For The Un-Kindled
Newest nonsense:
We have seen how AB Ed watches over us from afar ; how he speaks words of wisdom for our guidance ; how he brings peace when there is disagreement ; how he punishes the transgressors, striking out their words or consigning them to forgetfulness.
These are divine attributes, and we should humbly recognise his apotheosis.
The time has come for Answerbank to assume its rightful place as the First Church of Answerbank.
We must make offerings to Ed, through the medium of PayPal. As the first disciple, you will wish me to share some part of your offerings.
We shall of course be persecuted, and must defend our Human Rights to the full extent of the State funding which is available to this persecuted minority. The solicitors among Ed's flock will doubtless feel the call...
We must spend many hours in formulating our creed.
To aid this vital process, I suggest discussion of these propositions :-
That we wear religious costume with optional face coverings.
That we follow our Rastafarian brothers and allow the use of herbal aids to clear thought.
Also, like our Sikh brothers, shall we carry concealed weapons if we wish?
We shall need to have several periods during working hours each day for communication with our church, and employers shall make special facilities available for this purpose.
We shall require at least 30 special holidays each year, meditating before our computers and consuming special liquids.
All praise be to Ed!
(Once downloaded send it to your kindle address attached to an email. You should send it from an address set up on the Kindle, it's usually your Amazon account email address).
PDF Version For The Un-Kindled
Newest nonsense:
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They need no encouragment, O venator. Which is why I've got the key.
Ab Editor is mighty in his sacred accoutrements! Pbuhg&tandnewdrinkstrolly,we are truly blessed!!
Ab Editor is mighty in his sacred accoutrements! Pbuhg&tandnewdrinkstrolly,we are truly blessed!!
June
1st The Start of Summer Time to go to garden centre for Gnome polish and freshen up our sacred icons
3rd Cupcake day
8th Feast of Saint Ripstop When the art of Kite flying is celebrated and brightly coloured nylon things attempt to reach the heavens
10th The Day of St Duveticus where it is permissible to linger in bed and worship while keeping head firmly on the pillow
16th Tide wait day a day for going to the beach and finding a bar to drink sacred beverages
22nd Craftimas A day to consider our EX partners with fondness or otherwise and large amounts of Sacred Gin while wearing false teeth
28th Remembrance of the faithful Time to think fondly of those who have gone for any reason and drink much wine and beer in their memory
30th St Correctimus Rae It is permissible to hunt out errors in post and kindly suggest corrections
July
2nd Bikemas Celebrating all things two wheeled related especially tight lycra on neat bottoms and sexy leather gear
5th Annual meeting of the DMAG Daily mail aficionados group where the faithful will ignore completely all such scaremongering and foolishness
12th Post a menu day offer up your most annoying choice of menu with specially selected wines , 16 english cheeses or similar in memory of times past..
17th Wooden Spoon festival All stirrers to be tied to giant wooden spoons and pelted with wet sponges YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
18th Annual pond fishing competition ceremonial garb to be worn Giant toadstool seats to be booked in advance
21st Goat Day For those who failed to pull on Sheepimas
28th Feast of The Aztecs dark chocolate only to be eaten… in lieu of the human sacrifices Sacrifice cancelled due to lack of available virgins
31st Coach trip to the Hanging gardens of Answerbank (two window boxes full of dandelions and a pot of dead nastutiums) Tickets available in advance £35 bring a packed lunch
1st The Start of Summer Time to go to garden centre for Gnome polish and freshen up our sacred icons
3rd Cupcake day
8th Feast of Saint Ripstop When the art of Kite flying is celebrated and brightly coloured nylon things attempt to reach the heavens
10th The Day of St Duveticus where it is permissible to linger in bed and worship while keeping head firmly on the pillow
16th Tide wait day a day for going to the beach and finding a bar to drink sacred beverages
22nd Craftimas A day to consider our EX partners with fondness or otherwise and large amounts of Sacred Gin while wearing false teeth
28th Remembrance of the faithful Time to think fondly of those who have gone for any reason and drink much wine and beer in their memory
30th St Correctimus Rae It is permissible to hunt out errors in post and kindly suggest corrections
July
2nd Bikemas Celebrating all things two wheeled related especially tight lycra on neat bottoms and sexy leather gear
5th Annual meeting of the DMAG Daily mail aficionados group where the faithful will ignore completely all such scaremongering and foolishness
12th Post a menu day offer up your most annoying choice of menu with specially selected wines , 16 english cheeses or similar in memory of times past..
17th Wooden Spoon festival All stirrers to be tied to giant wooden spoons and pelted with wet sponges YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
18th Annual pond fishing competition ceremonial garb to be worn Giant toadstool seats to be booked in advance
21st Goat Day For those who failed to pull on Sheepimas
28th Feast of The Aztecs dark chocolate only to be eaten… in lieu of the human sacrifices Sacrifice cancelled due to lack of available virgins
31st Coach trip to the Hanging gardens of Answerbank (two window boxes full of dandelions and a pot of dead nastutiums) Tickets available in advance £35 bring a packed lunch
Thanks, Rowan - I shall enjoy the 22nd of June - my birthday - and may 'phone my ex, Jaws 1, as we are still good pals. Jaws 1 and Jaws 2 get on well, too.
Gin's not my favourite sacred liquid, but if it's decreed, I shall do my best.
The false teeth may be a problem. I have a few capped teeth - will that be OK?
Gin's not my favourite sacred liquid, but if it's decreed, I shall do my best.
The false teeth may be a problem. I have a few capped teeth - will that be OK?
I believe Snags has some spare ones from St Craft maybe you could borrow some...
As rhe christian messiah changed water to wine perhaps Ab Editor may turn Gin into another tipple of your preference praise be to him.
My Birthday is the day of ST Duveticus .... I'm not daft
As rhe christian messiah changed water to wine perhaps Ab Editor may turn Gin into another tipple of your preference praise be to him.
My Birthday is the day of ST Duveticus .... I'm not daft
I would like to join you as a member of your congregation but i do not have an email address so i have use my OH's. As a(n ab) virgin please be your kind and help me Learn the ways. I will try to get him to get my own address soon
as I like the way you think and telling people I was N.U.T.S. was getting me some stern looks. I hope you will let me join.
pbuhg&t Ab Editor
mrs divlong
as I like the way you think and telling people I was N.U.T.S. was getting me some stern looks. I hope you will let me join.
pbuhg&t Ab Editor
mrs divlong
rowan an allergy to bananas does not seem to be a hinderence to be a member of this honored and apostolic site. there are at least two of us here already and we cope by using yellow plastic forms cunningly disguised. we have no wish to upset the majority of members. we treasure our membership of such a fellowship. all hail.
♫ Pbuhg&t&newdrinkstrolley(ndt in future) Ab Editor ! All hail his Gnomeness and pointy hat!!♫
Might we humbly supplicate for a Quicklink Part 3, that Rowan's new guidance be available in handy form?
Might we humbly supplicate for a Quicklink Part 3, that Rowan's new guidance be available in handy form?
I have always loved bananas in all the many, many wonderful ways HE has
devised for us to enjoy, may I indulge in banana and carrot cake together?
I have been in the midst of the unclean and come now to purify my soul.
All hail His Gnomeness of the pointy hat, May HIS magnificence shine forever more.
mrs divlong
devised for us to enjoy, may I indulge in banana and carrot cake together?
I have been in the midst of the unclean and come now to purify my soul.
All hail His Gnomeness of the pointy hat, May HIS magnificence shine forever more.
mrs divlong
We all become of what we seek and eat
And what we eat is leek and banana earth
Yet food received at Venator' feet
Gives unto spirit; an enema birth
AB Editor's Spirit cleans the chosen few
Gives sup on Banana hill
Rids lust for garlic, wyedyed leeks too!
Such Apostolic poison that can kill
The Ed reveals what trolls hide
Which fruit seed they’ll plant in vain
Such filth can constipate the AB bride
And cause her stress and pain
But will we give to Ed these things?
We’ve grown so much to love?
Or are we pleased how Mr Knobby sings?
We seek no more above
We must give Ed all our toxins found
Like jealousy and hate
Trollish fruit on holy AB ground
Will only mentally constipate
Best put and end to all that’s seadogg foul
Refuse the NoMl’s wine
Although there’s rumbling of the toilet bowel
We’ve Boxie's medicine divine
Receive Boxie’s enema today
Her Sipsmith Gin and Tonic Flame
She’ll bring an end to life’s bottom decay
Through faith in Ed’s name
Receive the AB Truth, Venator’s guiding Light
Receive Ed's promised Jewel
Banana, chocolate, infinite leek sight
And promote the Gnomeish rule
And what we eat is leek and banana earth
Yet food received at Venator' feet
Gives unto spirit; an enema birth
AB Editor's Spirit cleans the chosen few
Gives sup on Banana hill
Rids lust for garlic, wyedyed leeks too!
Such Apostolic poison that can kill
The Ed reveals what trolls hide
Which fruit seed they’ll plant in vain
Such filth can constipate the AB bride
And cause her stress and pain
But will we give to Ed these things?
We’ve grown so much to love?
Or are we pleased how Mr Knobby sings?
We seek no more above
We must give Ed all our toxins found
Like jealousy and hate
Trollish fruit on holy AB ground
Will only mentally constipate
Best put and end to all that’s seadogg foul
Refuse the NoMl’s wine
Although there’s rumbling of the toilet bowel
We’ve Boxie's medicine divine
Receive Boxie’s enema today
Her Sipsmith Gin and Tonic Flame
She’ll bring an end to life’s bottom decay
Through faith in Ed’s name
Receive the AB Truth, Venator’s guiding Light
Receive Ed's promised Jewel
Banana, chocolate, infinite leek sight
And promote the Gnomeish rule
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