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Signs of the Times

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maggiebee | 21:12 Tue 13th Sep 2011 | Jokes
4 Answers
Signs of the times

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
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In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
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On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
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On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
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On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
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On a Church's Bill board:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
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At a Tyre Store
"Invite us to your next blowout."
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On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
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In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
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On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
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At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
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On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
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On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
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At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
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Outside a Car Exhaust Store:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
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In a Vets waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
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In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
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And don't forget the sign at a
RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
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Sign on the back of yet another
Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
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Sign on the back of yet another
Septic Tank Truck:
"No stools are kept in this vehicle overnight"
One I saw on a handyman's van in Ireland -

23½ HOUR CALLOUT
Good ones, here are a few more.

At a Chinese Laundry:
"We don't tear your clothes with clumsy machinery - we do it carefully by hand."

At a Scottish Golf:
"Members will refrain from picking up lost balls until they have stopped rolling."

At a restaurant:
"Our tongue sandwiches speak for themselves."

At a Church:
"You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, you can ignore this notice."
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