How Long Does Sympathy Last

[ck1]

Is there a specific timescale for how long people can be sympathetic towards somebody's problems / injuries etc? Does everybody move from the point of 'oh my god that's so awful', to 'I'm really sick of hearing about this now' or can some people genuinely maintain that initial feeling of concern indefinitely?

[Old_Geezer]

I don't think they are mutually exclusive. One can remain sympathetic without wanting to be involved in hearing about it any longer. It's their problem you are sympathetic about, not yours; you don't need to be actively supportive forever. If sympathy drains then maybe you weren't that sympathetic in the first place, maybe you just felt sorry for them for a time.

[China Doll]

Personally I have a low threshold. I can be sympathetic to a situation or an injury/illness but if you do nothing to change that situation or get help for you injury or illness and just keep whinging about it then I am likely to just be bored to tears rather than sympathetic. If you appear to be thriving on the drama then I won't even attempt to pretend I'm interested.

It does depend on the situation.

[sandyRoe]

Too long a sacrifice makes a stone of the heart.

[boxtops]

I side with china - I'll do all I can to help in crisis, but sometimes people are the authors of their own continuing misfortune. I don't want to keep hearing about it. Some people's glasses are always half empty - I find that frame of mind very hard to tolerate.

[China Doll]

'Some people's glasses are always half empty - I find that frame of mind very hard to tolerate.'

^^^ Absolutely spot on boxy - I find people like that just draining.

[society]

What ChinaDoll said ^^^

[ClaryS]

I'm sympathetic as long as the person is approaching the problem head on and trying to resolve it or get help, and would do my very best to help that person in any way, practical or emotional. If they seem to be relishing in the drama I don't get bored I get frustrated and depending on how well I knew the person, might tell them some home truths. People who thrive on drama and would rather have the attention than take advice, well I've no time for them, in cyber land or real life. My dad took 8 years to die of Cancer, he endured his illness with dignity and at no time did I ever lose sympathy. My mother is 'dying' every time she gets a cold, I've no sympathy what-so-ever for her.

[woofgang]

Speaking from the other side I didn't want sympathy and I especially got annoyed when people wanted to turn my crisis into their drama. I didn't want to spill my guts or be "comforted" I especially didn't want to "have a good cry.you'll feel better"
Just sayin'

[sherrardk]

I have a friend with matrimonial problems (he's left her, one wobble after another) and I have suffered a bit of compassion fatigue (it's been going on since July). On the other hand, when people have recently been sympathetic towards me I don't think they are overly comfortable with my gallows sense of humour. We're all different in different situations.

[coccinelle]

I've noticed that people move very quickly from a 'sympathetic' stuation to a neutral one... Everybody has their lives to lead and they turn the page very quickly. I've been in this situation (and I still am)? No doubt when something befalls them, it becomes a catastrophe but this time I won't be there to help pick up the pieces I'm afraid..;

[sherrardk]

(PS - I have still gone and comforted her, at all times of the day and night even when himself was poorly. His friend was really good to him when he was ill and he said it's what friends do and he's right.)

[China Doll]

I see where you're coming from woof and have a similar mind frame. Thete are a few people I'm close to who I would accept comfort from but I am very uncomfortable with others pity or sympathy.

[maggiebee]

I'd like to think I feel empathy rather than sympathy. That too can wear thin depending on just how long the "crisis" lasts. Like baby photos on Facebook. One friend changes her baby's photo at least twice per week. Lovely wee chap but after 10 months of this I could puke! Now where's my empathy lol.

[B00]

Unless its a physical injury I've a very low tolerance of other people's pain. I'll sympathise, or more accurately make the appropriate noises of sympathy for a short while, then i'll start wondering when they're gonna get a grip.