Drinking My Age in Pints...

[Birchy]

As a stereotypical Liverpudlian, I am often very witty, and sometimes steal things. I am trying to strike a balance between the two, and would like to know if it is legal to be a humorous thief? Other features include never wishing to set foot in Liverpool ever again, defending the city if a non-Scouser criticises it, tucking my jumper into my denim trousers, and substituting the word 'hello' with 'alright'. If I can incorporate all of these into a stage-managed stereotype, could I possibly get away with being looked upon as pretentious rather than Liverpudlian?

[Birchy]

Lawks!......Have you ever been called up for jury service Abi? Firm but cruel hey?

[Miss Zippy]

You are a scally! Will you come and mind me car?

[Birchy]

Well I'll go to the end of our jigger! Small boys demanding money with menaces. It brings it all back. By the time it gets round to Euro City of Culture those little darlings will probably have titles like AutoCare Executives....funded by Brussels, with paid holidays and uniforms!

[brawburd]

so you can drink 11 pints then Birchy? :)

[OnlyMe]

Eh alright, calm down, calm down...

[paulz]

de do dat den - where's yer shell suit dodgy perm 'n tash heh? eh? ya judy

[Birchy]

11 pints indeed ! I was rather expecting TJ and Einstein (the former Ant and Dec) to have joined in by now." 'ey! 'ey! I wuz born nearer Liverpool dan yooz"...."No yer wirnt" "Yes a woz" "No yer wirnt" ....... "Am gonna tell de editor off you!" "Go on den, see if I care"....."'e's 'avin' a go at me aggen editor, iss no' fir".