Crosswords1 min ago
Best Behaviour??
80 Answers
Why?
Answers
Why? Because I have just had my parents and grandparents here all day. So I thought that we ought to restrict our behaviour to something socially acceptable and not likely to shock the "olds"!
18:33 Sun 14th Oct 2012
Adapted
"Me Shoota is a keeper,
He's a very busy man,
I try to understand him (who can?)
And I help him all I can,
But sometimes on an AB evening
against their whacky wit, I feel a trifle dim,
All alone and plucking pheasants
When I'd rather pluck with him.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate
And I'm only plucking pheasants
'Cos the pheasant plucker's plucking late.
I'm not good at plucking pheasants,
Pheasant plucking I get sloopy stuck,
Though some AB Moonie peasants find it pleasant
I'd much rather pluck a duck,
Oh, but plucking sibbo's knees is gorgeous,
I can pluck her loose goose with relative ease
But plucking pheasants is sheer torture,
For they haven't any tony grease.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
Gness has gone out on the shed tiles,
She only plucked one pheasant
And I'm sitting here with Ann's latest piles.
You have to pluck them Barmaid fresh,
If they're fresh it's not commoner unpleasant,
I knew a man in Boxtop's Dunstable,
Could pluck a frozen Mrs O pheasant.
They say Ed the village constable
Has pheasant plucking sessions
With Venator the Vicar of a Sunday
Twixt the first and second Nibble lessons.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the murray pheasant plucker's son,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
Till the pheasant plucker's come.
My good friend Sqad's most adept,
He's really got the knack,
He likes to have a pheasant plucked
Before he hits it with the Ibuprofen sack.
I try and lend a helping hand,
I gather up the mcfluffy feathers,
It's really all this pheasant plucking
Keeps us pair together!
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's friend,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
As a means unto a LieInKing end.
Me shoota husband's in the woods all day,
A-banging hard with his "gun", so he says
If he could hear me heartfelt screams and cries,
Then surely he would run,
For I've fluff in all me Lady J crannies
And there's feathers up me starbuck nose,
And I'm itchin' in NoM's kitchin'
From me fgt head down to me cupid toes.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's wife,
And when we pluck dotty together
It's a bloody pheasant plucking life!"
"Me Shoota is a keeper,
He's a very busy man,
I try to understand him (who can?)
And I help him all I can,
But sometimes on an AB evening
against their whacky wit, I feel a trifle dim,
All alone and plucking pheasants
When I'd rather pluck with him.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate
And I'm only plucking pheasants
'Cos the pheasant plucker's plucking late.
I'm not good at plucking pheasants,
Pheasant plucking I get sloopy stuck,
Though some AB Moonie peasants find it pleasant
I'd much rather pluck a duck,
Oh, but plucking sibbo's knees is gorgeous,
I can pluck her loose goose with relative ease
But plucking pheasants is sheer torture,
For they haven't any tony grease.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
Gness has gone out on the shed tiles,
She only plucked one pheasant
And I'm sitting here with Ann's latest piles.
You have to pluck them Barmaid fresh,
If they're fresh it's not commoner unpleasant,
I knew a man in Boxtop's Dunstable,
Could pluck a frozen Mrs O pheasant.
They say Ed the village constable
Has pheasant plucking sessions
With Venator the Vicar of a Sunday
Twixt the first and second Nibble lessons.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the murray pheasant plucker's son,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
Till the pheasant plucker's come.
My good friend Sqad's most adept,
He's really got the knack,
He likes to have a pheasant plucked
Before he hits it with the Ibuprofen sack.
I try and lend a helping hand,
I gather up the mcfluffy feathers,
It's really all this pheasant plucking
Keeps us pair together!
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's friend,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
As a means unto a LieInKing end.
Me shoota husband's in the woods all day,
A-banging hard with his "gun", so he says
If he could hear me heartfelt screams and cries,
Then surely he would run,
For I've fluff in all me Lady J crannies
And there's feathers up me starbuck nose,
And I'm itchin' in NoM's kitchin'
From me fgt head down to me cupid toes.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's wife,
And when we pluck dotty together
It's a bloody pheasant plucking life!"
One for Gness and her fans:
“Gness, I said, Gness, why
do you insist on calling me
by my name when I asked you
please to call me DTC
To show me your teeth,
your heaving breasts
and show me your fists
Goddamnit, there are still
some bones in my chest
you have yet to break
if you want you could use
my ribs for a cage in which
tonyav could live, O if only
you’d paint a big black x and take
that fecking sledgehammer and swing”
“Gness, I said, Gness, why
do you insist on calling me
by my name when I asked you
please to call me DTC
To show me your teeth,
your heaving breasts
and show me your fists
Goddamnit, there are still
some bones in my chest
you have yet to break
if you want you could use
my ribs for a cage in which
tonyav could live, O if only
you’d paint a big black x and take
that fecking sledgehammer and swing”
