News6 mins ago
First Date (Funny)
33 Answers
This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Billy Connely went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and the bloke ad taken her skiing in the CairnGorm mountains Scotland.
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were heading home late in the afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra coffee . ! ! They were about an hour away from anywhere with a toilet and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point here she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her nik's down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her bum rest against the rear bumper to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her nik's , the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's bumperr . Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humour of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her @rse off' and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her jumper and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had got her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his trousers and pee her bum off the bumper.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'nik's down'. And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Billy Connely comment was.... 'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'
Oh and how did the first date turn out?
He became her husband and was sitting next to her in the audience.
Billy Connely went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and the bloke ad taken her skiing in the CairnGorm mountains Scotland.
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were heading home late in the afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra coffee . ! ! They were about an hour away from anywhere with a toilet and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point here she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her nik's down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her bum rest against the rear bumper to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her nik's , the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's bumperr . Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humour of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her @rse off' and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her jumper and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had got her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his trousers and pee her bum off the bumper.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'nik's down'. And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Billy Connely comment was.... 'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'
Oh and how did the first date turn out?
He became her husband and was sitting next to her in the audience.
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did it marval? http://
Bed-nobs,~~~~~~ I posted it here because (gness is right) it is not a joke, its a funny story You know very well I know what a joke is (even if you don't) I post in 'Jokes' every day, give me some credit.
I've been out tonight & didn't realise this scrap was going on. Thankyou gness for being in my corner. I think bed-nobs was trying to protect 'Chatterbank' from being mis'used and I know what she means but this time she needent have worried. "Group Hug"
Night night I'm shattered. Jem. :)
I've been out tonight & didn't realise this scrap was going on. Thankyou gness for being in my corner. I think bed-nobs was trying to protect 'Chatterbank' from being mis'used and I know what she means but this time she needent have worried. "Group Hug"
Night night I'm shattered. Jem. :)
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