News1 min ago
A good pun is its own re-word
21. What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.
22. Feeling unwell, a man went to an alternative therapist who gave him a length of thin leather. “Chew an inch of this a day,” he was told. A month later, the leather string was finished and the man still didn't feel well. Returning to the therapist he reported, “The thong has ended but the malady lingers on.”
23. I tried to get my bicycle to stand up... but it was two tired.
24. Sign seen at a nudist camp last December:
Sorry - Clothed for Winter.
25. When a tree goes on holiday, it packs its trunk and leaves.
26. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank.
This proves once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
27. When the vicar was visiting a parishioner, he was intrigued why the little girl called her teddy, "Gladly".
"Well," she replied, "its eyes are crossed so I thought of that hymn we sing in church: 'Gladly my cross-eyed bear'."
28. A shop owner was selling up as he was going abroad so he had a good buy sale.
29. The greedy angler wanted to make a lot of money from his catch.
He was just getting to sell fish.
30. A rabbit used to visit his pub every lunch time for a toasted sandwich. One day he'd have a toasted tuna sandwich, another day he'd have a toasted cheese sandwich, another day he'd have a toasted ham sandwich: a different sandwich each day.
He suddenly died and went to Bunny heaven where Bunny St Peter asked what he died of.
“I had Mixtamatoasties Boyo!” (I forgot to say he was a Welsh Rabbit.)
You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.
22. Feeling unwell, a man went to an alternative therapist who gave him a length of thin leather. “Chew an inch of this a day,” he was told. A month later, the leather string was finished and the man still didn't feel well. Returning to the therapist he reported, “The thong has ended but the malady lingers on.”
23. I tried to get my bicycle to stand up... but it was two tired.
24. Sign seen at a nudist camp last December:
Sorry - Clothed for Winter.
25. When a tree goes on holiday, it packs its trunk and leaves.
26. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank.
This proves once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
27. When the vicar was visiting a parishioner, he was intrigued why the little girl called her teddy, "Gladly".
"Well," she replied, "its eyes are crossed so I thought of that hymn we sing in church: 'Gladly my cross-eyed bear'."
28. A shop owner was selling up as he was going abroad so he had a good buy sale.
29. The greedy angler wanted to make a lot of money from his catch.
He was just getting to sell fish.
30. A rabbit used to visit his pub every lunch time for a toasted sandwich. One day he'd have a toasted tuna sandwich, another day he'd have a toasted cheese sandwich, another day he'd have a toasted ham sandwich: a different sandwich each day.
He suddenly died and went to Bunny heaven where Bunny St Peter asked what he died of.
“I had Mixtamatoasties Boyo!” (I forgot to say he was a Welsh Rabbit.)
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