I need help.

[mike11111]

I have a verbal problem. I know it's not Tourettes, 'cos I don't go around shouting F**k, t**ty, w**k every other two minutes. However, I do have a problem coordinating my brain with my tongue. I got on the bus today, having partaken of a light Saturday liquid lunch at my club, only to be preceded by two "chavvish ladies" (mother and daughter), accompanied by a rather young male dog (you didn't need bifocals to see that it was male). The dog was somewhat excited, and, to cut a long story short, was a bit of a nuisance. The mother and daughter kept making a fuss of the dog, which only got it more excited. Just as I was about to alight mummy chav (I deduce that from the fact that she had just a few more wrinkles and tattoos than the daughter, though I had to put my specs back on just to make sure) announced to the whole company, "I'm sorry, he's a little bit frisky". Before I could stop myself, I heard myself saying, "Madam, if I was a dog sqaushed between two rough bitches, I might feel a little frisky myself". What can I do to stop myself saying these things?

[mike11111]

I wouldn't mind being censored if b i n t were a rude word. I know it's not exactly a respectable way to refer to a lady, but it was common parlance amongst us young guys when we were in the RAF. I don't know what the world is coming to. Seemingly today you can have all the tits and arses you like on AB, but no Lady s

[mike11111]

Why has my solitary b!nt been censored, whilst all my tits and arses are left to flourish unchallenged?

[craft1948]

I wish mine were still flourishing...........

[slinkycat]

pmsl, thanks mike you cheered me up!

[mike11111]

Sincere apologies to all. I know I was being a bit naughty in posting this; it was only for a laugh and not really real (apart from the two chav women and the dog -and me) but I feel a sense of unease that some people might think I'm Molly in disguise, so in order to protect both her good name and mine I must desist from further banter. (Unless the handbaggers come on!)