Never ..........................

[pericat]

rub your eye when you've just had a very strong bag of salt and vinegar crisps !!!

[pericat]

theres that as well - my eye is killing me

[craft1948]

put a greasy chip on your eyeball......this will absorb the salt and vinegar and make a tasty snack for later.....(top tip eh)

[pericat]

craft- you should write a book

[Rev Sermon]

& never ever ever scratch your behind after using deep heat!

[craft1948]

better than scratching your wotsits Rev.....

[mrs.chappie]

I love cheesy wotsits. They're my next favourite, after quavers.

[Rev Sermon]

chestnuts roasting... How festive!

[mrs.chappie]

You're sitting too close, Rev.

[Rev Sermon]

Everything was fine until I gave up the asbestos underpants for lent

[karenmac60]

My friends partner made her a nice romantic meal that had chillies in it, afterwards he swept her off for an 'early night'. I'll not go into details but she always bought pre-chopped chillies after that. Ouch!

[glenda99]

YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER take sleeping pills and laxative pills together unless you sleep with rubber sheets and even then you run the risk of starting your day sh*tty!

[tigerlily11]

never scratch ur a** when you just applied Deepheat