to have kids or not....Pros and cons

[Minnesota]

My husband and I were recently married and now are considering whether to have children or not.

We have a friend that tells us daily how awful it is, and that we shouldn't do it cause it will ruin your life. He sends us links to prove that children are a big cause of divorce and that he is not the only one that thinks this, just the only one that will speak the truth.

Soooooooo I have come here to find the real truth :)

[Minnesota]

Thanks for all the responds to my questions. I am glad to know that not everyone feels the same way as our friend.

[Clare A]

Nobody summed up my feelings better than Kevin.

[ladymariner]

My boy is the best thing in the whole wide world to me, I couldn't contemplate a life without him in it. Saying that, it's not easy bringing a child up and it does change completely and irrevocably your life and the way you look at the world so it's definately not for the faint-hearted-or the unsure!!! Wait a while, enjoy yourselves, and then when YOU feel ready go for it! Listen only to each other and while you're at it, ask yourselves if you really need such a doom-merchant as a "friend". I also find myself wondering what sort of life his poor children have living with someone who feels the way he does about them!

[Feragoh]

I've noticed a trend in these "Pros and Cons of Kids" debates:

Ever notice that the lists people make for having kids always have Pros that are intangible things like feelings of love and happiness, seeing the world through a child's eyes, playing with toys, experiencing the wonder of discovery, their first word, etc... Nice things, but completely abstract, esoteric and intangible.

Then when you look at the flip-side, the Cons they're always very REAL things like the tremendous financial burden, no personal time ever again, stress on your marriage, house full of kid stuff everywhere, the smell, the noise, the mess, the loss of sleep, the zero gratitude, constant worry, giant struggles to get the smallest errands done, food struggles, picky eaters, scenes in restaurants, fighting siblings, teenagers, and other completely terrible things.

If I had to put up with any two or three of those Cons at my job, but got all of the Pros daily I would still quit and find a new job, so it's hard to imagine willingly doing that to myself. Forever. With no chance of parole. Yikes...

Tell me if I'm wrong...

[albaqwerty]

mash you forgot no.24, by the time they have learnt to speak reasonably well, they start grunting (usually about 13-14years of age)
I've 2 teenage sons and wouldn't and couldn't imagine life without them.
Whatever you and your OH choose, I wish you well