What was your most embarrasing moment?

[smudge]

You tell me yours & I might tell you mine. (Not too explicit tho)

 

[Hammer]

Going shopping with my mate as moral support while he bought some sexy undies for his missus. Having pondered over the selection available and deciding what to get, he went up to the checkout and asked if there was anywhere he could try them on. You should have seen the look the checkout girl gave us!!!

[maximo]

One that happened recently, on my first day at work (some phamaceutical company). We had the obligatory company induction, and were all sitting round the table. Somehow, all the others were dignified looking middle-aged men in suits, I was the only girl. The trainer asked us if we could think of which types of  products the CE symbol ( European Community certificate, I think)  appears on, and without thinking, I said the first thing that came to my mind, at the top of my voice : "Condoms ! " . And there was a (very) heavy silence... I like to make a good first impression.

[FTVS]

11 years old at school. Start of a new school year. Teacher asks: "Does anyone know what a pilgrim is"? My hand is straight up (the only one) and I reply, "Pilgrims are very short people who live in Africa"... even the Teacher laughed at me .... ARRRGH!

[lisa76]

before my husband and i were married we were getting ready to have sex.  i was laying on the bed stilled clothed, including shoes ,  he came into the room naked and stood by the bed.  back then our bed was a mattress on the floor.  some how i managed to kick him really hard in the private area.  needless to say we couldnt have intimacy for about a month after that. 12 years later we laugh about "i have a headache" took on a whole new meaning. 

[tartanwiz]

When my daughter was very young, I took her to Scone Palace. I accidentally stepped on a peacock's tail feather as it ran away, leaving the feather, so I kept it. We then entered the Palace, my daughter carrying the feather. The ticket lady said "That's a nice peacock feather you have", to which my daughter replied "My daddy pulled it off a peacock's tail". I just wanted to vanish into the air.

[Tinker]

Maybe not THE most embarrasing moment i've ever had, but certainly one that I cringe when I think about now. When i went to Florida when i was 15 (one of those american water parrks) i went on a veritcal water chute. When i went down, you have to cross your arms over your chest and cross your legs at your ankles. Anyway, so im going down the chute with my dad, step-mum, step-bro and sis at the bottom and suddenly i feel my legs parting as i'm flying down this chute. It was all happening so fast and i couldn't get my legs back together, then i felt my swimmin costume riding up my ar$e and.....even worse....my...errr...front bottom too!!! Not only did it hurt LIKE HELL, my family and the rest of the park saw the whole thing....i ran to the toilets after the incident almost crying with pain. i was so embarrassed.... :(

[smudge]

I've been creasing up at all your hilarious stories. Thank you for all the laughs! 

 

I forgot to mention - my horror windy pop story happened way back in 1963 - when passing wind seemed like a tabbo subject - well for us ladies anyway!.

[Kay]

I was 18,back in the 60's. A bloke I'd fancied for ages finally asked me out.There I was dressed up to the nines having a ball and (snogging on the dance floor).I was besotted. I went to the loo for a pee and topped up my make etc and as I was leaving I blew my nose and went back to our table,my handsome prince seemed a bit distant,no more dancing or snogging and we left the club.He saw me to the bus stop but did'nt kiss me just said goodnight.While on the bus I looked in my compact mirror and was mortified to see a HUGE bogey going right from my nose and trailing halfway up my cheek.I'll never forget that night!!! 

[FP]

FINA, Oh how dreadful you must have felt. I'm laughing so much at this!!

[Bangkok]

Fina, that is fantastic.  It is everyone's secret concern.  In a meeting, you can have a little fun by carefully wiping the end of your nose, as if concerned about stray bogies, and then watch everyone else in the room doing the same

[FP]

Why do men always pick their noses and remove bogies at traffic lights?

[FP]

I did fall down in a heap of mud once and had to walk back through town with a brown bum, which looked suspiciously like something other than mud!

[Yinzer]

These are all hilarious and it's nice to have a good laugh. Ok, once when I was in 5th or 6th grade I had this history teacher who was SO mean. On a test I answered U.S. of A. and he marked it wrong, said it should read U.S.A. Then he proceeded to make me feel all stupid in front of the class. In my assignment book I wrote "Hmwk - F**k Mr. Cray" just to vent some steam. Well... the next day in class he took a break from the book to ask if anybody lost this, holding up a blue mini-notebook. I looked closely and thought hey, that looks familiar... ooh... and I raised my hand completely forgetting what I wrote. He proceeded to read aloud what had been written (which was embarassing enough), apparently taking it literally and asking if I knew what the word meant. The whole class was looking at me, cheeks puffed out trying to contain the laughter, and I didn't knoe how to reply so I just said no. Then he took me out in the hallway and EXPLAINED what the word meant, this old guy who I didn't want to think of as even being capable of sex talking to me about it, while the rest of the class listened in. I guess it doesn't sound very funny, but it was really emabrassing.

[secretspirit]

Just had to say this is the best thread to read to cheer yourself up! It's hysterical, I'm so glad I'm reading at home and not work.

 

I remembered another thing that happened was embarassing (or could have been). When I was 17 I got horribly horribly horribly drunk at a school disco on ouzo and cider - lovely combination by the way. After I'd fallen on a teacher, spent most of the night vomiting in the lobby and toilets, told my Mum all the way home in the car that I couldn't stay as I was being picked up soon and sleeping in driveway in said car until Dad came back from the pub and carried me indoors there was worse to come. When I woke in the morning in my own bed all I was wearing was a leopard skin wonderbra! My dress and knickers were gone. When I went to the bathroom I looked and there they were in the washing basket. Of course I assumed that my parents had - horror of horrors - undressed me and put me to bed. It was weeks later I worked up the courage to ask them and it seems when they put me into bed I was fully clothed. I must have got up to go to the loo, stripped off but found the wonderbra catch too much of a challenge and walked back to my room practically starkers. Did it put me off drinking? Hell no.

[enigma]

I didn't realise in my teens that tights came in different sizes for a reason. So being of slight build , extra large tights should have been a no no for me. I had a little part time job in a restaurant and had snagged my tights , so popped out at lunchtime to buy a new pair. They only had extra large , so I bought them and popped them on and as I rushed back to my work , the tights quickly slid down my legs , got caught up around my ankles and sent me crashing to the ground in front of all the saturday high street shoppers.  Recently , I was picking my eldest daughter up from school and had my baby in her buggy with me. There is an obnoxious little boy at my daughter's school who is always very rude and has no thought for others and on this particular day , I was running late to pick my daughter up and the bell had already gone. The little boy in question came charging out , kicked his empty can of juice straight at my baby and narrowly missed her. I got such a fright and roared at him to be careful and a worried looking father of a little boy in my daughter's class ran forward to see if we were okay. I started to rant about the little boy , saying that he was really obnoxious , had no manners and needed pulled into line , to which the dad said 'Yes. I'll see him when I get home'. I had no idea that this was his elder son whom I has been bad mouthing ! Oh and perhaps the most cringeworthy for me was when I was breastfeeding my youngest daughter in Pizza Hut - much to the horror of my little sister. I made such a big issue out of the benefits to baby and how no-one was noticing anyway. As I stood up to strap her back into her buggy I announced to my sister ' See , i'm so discreet that no-one notices'. It was then that she reminded me that not only had I not fixed my bra but my top had risen up and I had just flashed to a very packed Pizza Hut !

[Yinzer]

Oh my goodness! I just remembered when I was in 8th grade I started gettin gmy period. Well I grew up with only my dad and he wasn't too keen on womens issues. So when I had to go to school he would dtick an extra pad in my shirt pocket (button-down uniform shirt). Not only everybody knew when I had my period (a friend told me about it years later) but one day I bent over to pick up my book bag and it fell onto the floor. Some loudmouthed boy standing nearby flipped out and started yelling "Eeew, what is THAT!" pointing and jumping away and just making a terribly big deal out of it. The whole class watched in laughter as I picked it up and stuffed it right back in my shirt pocket! LOL!