You've Gotta Admire The Creativity Of...
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Once we were at a concert and I visited the Ladies during intermission. It happened to be that That Time of the Month for me and I was using a cheap brand of s. towel at the time. When I came out of the ladies and was walking accross the lobby I suddenly felt something lumpy slipping down my leg. When I looked down it was a piece of s. towel on the floor, fortunately for me there were not many people around at the time.I hastily took the piece in my hand, hoped it would be mistaken for a piece of tissue and walked off!
First time I flew with my big boss, I had an economy ticket but he got me upgraded to sit with him in First Class. We were going to Hong Kong in the days of the old Kai Tak airport (which almost always meant a bus gate).
I had a little too much to drink, because it was all very nice and free. Leaving the plane, I stood on the top step, missed the next step and went down the whole flight on my backside, destroying my suit in the process. Cue air crew rushing down to see if the idiot drunk was ok. I think my boss was a little concerned about his recruitment decision.
I was at a festival once and was dying to go to poo but was holding on till I got home. After he 2nd day I could'nt take it anymore so I had to go to the toilet.(it was one of those toilets that you must climb some steps to get in ) When I got there I was amazed to see no queue so I ran in and the only cubicule working was the one opposite the entrance. Now that was'nt a problem but the poo was and believe me it was'nt very pleasent but the thing was I was wearing flip flops and all I remember was looking down at my toes, all curled up and going white(you know what I mean with all that straining). Then when I had finished I opened the door to find a queue off people waiting for the loo. this might not sound very embrassasing but all I could think about was those people looking at my curled up white toes.
I can be trusted to keep a secret - if I know it is meant to be a secret. If I'm not told that it's a secret, however, I might let things out in conversation. Once, a friend's mum told me she was getting her husband a computer for his Christmas. Soon afterwards, I phoned their house to speak to my mate, and the husband answered the phone. I said "So I hear you're getting a PC for your Christmas". There followed an awkward, drawn-out silence and he replied in a surly, sarcastic way "Merry Christmas". I felt like slime's guts.
I've done loads of things, as I am so clumsy, luckily now I can laugh at myself but it used to be pure hell when I was young and very shy. Once I walked all the way to school with my skirt tucked in my knickers. A month ago I was in Ibiza and fell down a flight of stairs in the hotel running to catch a water taxi when all my fella and sister could do was stand laughing at me.
This is not embarassing but its funny - when my husband and I went to Paris and were admiring the Eiffel tower, my husband who is a widely travelled person, nevertheless very seriously told my brother who was also with us, "It doesn't seem to be leaning". Then I gently had to remind him that it was the Tower of Pisa that leans.
secretspirit - that scooby doo style skedaddling was hilarious!! But i'm at my work computer - how do i explain what i am crying with laughter at??
One of my most embarassing experiences (for there have been many) was when i was walking to college one day and my trouser leg felt a bit tight, so i shook it in case it had somehow got caught on my boots. And a pair of knickers flew out! they must have got caught inside whilst in the wash. This happened on a busy main road and I hurriedly picked them up and stuffed them into my bag hoping to go nobody saw what it actually was!
Another time, when i was very young (about 8) there was a party at my house. All the men were in the kitchen and i kept popping in there to see my dad. One time i went in there, not paying proper attention and was pulling on (what i thought) was my dad's back pocket of his jeans and saying 'Daaaaaaad'. This man tunned around and to my horror i realised my mistake. Everyone started laughing and i was so embarrased that i just ran away.
I've got two. The first one happened while at University. I was in the SU bar one night and I noticed a bloke that I recognised. So being fairly drunk I just went up to him and said 'hello mate I'm really sorry but I recognise you but I can't remember your name.' Looking blankly and rather confused he said 'I'm sorry I've never met you before'. We had a quick conversation where by I was convinced I knew him and kept realing off places that we may have met. In the end we gave up and I went off. After I sat down with my mates I looked over and saw the bloke I thought I recognised chatting to a girl obviously telling her about what just happened. Then it dawned on me where I recognised him from. He was the bloke in the picture in the silver frame on the bedside table of the girl that I'd been sleeping with for the last month - his girlfriend! I knew I recogised him - I never forget a face. The other one is slightly easier to describe (drunk again) - getting into to bed stark naked with my now mother-in-law.
Purplerockie - love the cucumber story - classic!
I have a clean one and a not so clean one (the only two I can remember, anyway. I do embarrassing things every day of the week):
Clean one:
I was at the birthday meal of an old uni friend, but she had invited a load of people I didn't know, so I was trying hard to impress and fit in. Anyway, at the end of the meal, the bill came and the 25 of us were trying to settle it. I walked round to the head of the table to make my contribution, and stepped back, not realising that the staircase down to the kitchen was right behind me....I tried to grab the nearest thing to me to halt my fall, but ended up pulling the coat stand and a waiter down on top of me. I landed at the chef's feet with my skirt round my waist and a rather bemused Italian waiter and a load of coats on top of me....
Don't know whether I want to tell you the not so clean one, actually...
My mother is a very straight WI sort of woman,but for christmas one year she bought me the kinkiest looking leopard print satin underwear.I was amazed and on a drunken night out kept showing it(just the bra straps) to all my friends.A pub crawl ensued with several taxi journeys.Finally I had to go home and as I sat slumped in the front of a taxi I slurred"Mr Taxidriver,would you like to see my underwear" to which he replied "Its OK love,you showed it to me earlier."I didn't drink for quite some time after that.
Whispers...Ok smudge I can own up now having read yours 'cos I know you'll understand.
Many years ago, soon after having first baby (i.e. not much muscle control) - very quiet but busy waiting room, very loud wind, very red face!
At least you only had one witness!
There are others but this was the worst - up to now.
ok natalie, you've forced it out of me, but I'll lose all respect I may have previously had....
I was on holiday with my brothers and single (as I always am!). Anyway, there was a Danish handball team training in our resort, and they were all gorgeous, so one night I got exceptionally drunk and 'made friends' with one of them. The following afternoon, I was recovering from my immense hangover by the pool, and a group of the handball guys wandered down past us, all smirking at me. After another 10 minutes, my brother prodded me on the arm, and said, "Hey sis, aren't those your knickers hanging off the shower head?" (those showers they put round pools so you can wash the chlorine off). I went redder than my sunburn and would have started crying with humiliation, only I was too hungover!
17 years old drunk and foolish fun in town everythings fine - drink more southern comfort (yuk) - wake up face down in my living room in one outstretched hand a cheap porn mag in the other my shoe, wake up with pain shooting through my face as i have been asleep straight down on my nose (which had now become set in a rather strange position) ... it was at this point that my father walked into the room!!!!! argh
i woke up in a cupboard in a house i don't remember going to, it was pitch black in there so i did what any normal person would do - i paniced - so i shouted for help - when the door finally open (it was behind me all the time) - even i was suprised by what i looked like, i had somehow managed to replace my t-shirt with a hawiian shirt i had never seen before losted my shoes and socks and had my hair braided... to make matters worse the friends i had gone out with (to a party it later turns out) had left ages ago thinking i had gone hope early (because i was drunk) - so in the morning is was some poor lads parents that had to release a scary summer shirt wearing manic they had never met from their kitchen cupboard!!!! yes it was a bit embarrasing - made worse by my trying to style it out and matching straight out the door with a cheery byee only having to come straight back in when i founf myself in the garden!
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