Breakup Advice

[juliakill4]

I need advice on how to cope with a not so recent breakup, not to mention i want to know if ill be able to find someone else or if i wrecked my whole life. Thing is, Im god awful at forgetting him...I try to force myself to fall for someone else but my heart is still with him, ive dated two others but none of them feel genuine.

My friends have tried to help but they're busy with their boyfriends, it makes me feel all alone, an awful feeling. I even feel it physically when it gets bad, a sort of aching in my heart, i get hungry and my throat goes dry. I used to think it was separition anxiety.

The biggest problem is my jealousy, I get jealous of other people with a partner and it hurts when Im alone, i used to feel like the happiest guy on earth. now i cant think of anything but trying to survive without scratching myself (my past coping mechanism)

Any tips of what i can do?

Any support would be great, thanks beforehand

[Captain2]

Well, I'm confused. Are you male or female? Difficult to tell from your two questions and profile. :))

[Atheist]

If you are pining for someone who doesn't want to be with you, then you need to get over that. I can't tell you how, but get over it. If you have an illness that is painful, then you have to get through it until it goes away, as most illnesses do. You get over it by your own strength and courage, but you first need to accept that your previous easy life has now gone. Do you ever wonder how your previous partner is feeling, or do you just brood about your own pain?

[chanel5]

~The questions you have posted are very contradictory.
First, as Captain2 has observed your gender seems to switch from male to female and back again.
Second, you claim in one of your posts to be a strict christian, so much so that you feely guilty for being interested in cards.
Having myself been brought up by a very strict presbyterian grandmother, I know that the use of the word "godawful" would not be tolerated in christian circles, and a strict christian would not use the term.
Your contradictions make it difficult to take any of your questions seriously, as it feels that you are not being honest with us, the people from whom you are seeking advice.
Therefore any advice formulated would be a waste of time.

[Old_Geezer]

If feelings are still raw, don't go trying to find someone else 'on the bounce', wait until you've got over the past relationship. It fades in time, especially if you get yourself to accept the reality and simply acknowledge thoughts of it rather than use them as a trigger to brood on and stay sad. Go get involved with other interests in life that are not relationship oriented. You must have interests. And socialise with friends who may raise your spirits. They can't always be busy, or they haven't organised their lives well. If they are, find some new ones to add to your present ones. Maybe join a club or something similar.

(Oh, and by the same measure, envy (or jealousy) is something you need to learn to control. No one can do that for you, it's about self improvement and becoming a better individual.)

Good luck.

[Khandro]

Search for Buddhist meditation on equanimity.

[Canary42]

See my answer on your rejection thread