not interested

[sarah27]

hi,bit of a embarassing question but!

lately i have gone of sex, my partner wants it all the time and i only do it for the sake of it! i have never had an orgasm through sex although i do enjoy it sometimes!!!

how can i get my sex life up and going again!! i really wanna enjoy it but its hard when i no i wont!!

[Champagne]

Can you pinpoint what it is you don't enjoy? Is it because the sex is predictable? i.e. you could narrate the entire scenario!!?? Have you also gone off 'DIY' sex? If you can't even be bothered to masturbate then it is definitely your sex drive that has dwindled in which case I would have a look on the internet to find causes.

[gerkin]

You could try reading the Kama Sutra (attributes to the origin of erotic science ) for some ideas

[crete]

have you discussed this issue with your partner ? it may help you both .

[fms]

speak to yr partner thats the most important thing i think if you dont heel just get the hump tell him wat you like dont like. and take the time to find out wat you like so he can learn how to do it. ;~)
good luck

[Scarlett]

How long have you been with your partner? I think often sex gets a bit samey and boring, and especially if you are not orgasming through sex, there can't be much appeal. How would your partner like it if everytime he had sex he didn't get to orgasm? I imagine it would put him off a bit!!

I would work on ways that you can get yours (!) during sex, even if it's not through penetration. He needs to make sure you have a good time too- it's a two-way thing!!

[sarah27]

it is very boring for me, same as i say i only do it to keep him happy. i like all the foreplay we have first but then when we are actually having sex its like ok i no whats gonna happen next!
we have been together for a few years now. i masturbate alone which i enjoy more than sex. im ashamed to say. i love him very much but im stuck as what to do thanks for your answers !

[cascarelli]

You need to spice it up a bit, change the rules. Why not try a no touching each other rule for a week and just watch each other masturbate. Then you could try mutual masturbation, no penetration, and then only oral contact a week after that.

Have you tried masturbating while youre having sex if you get off better that way?

Mix it up a bit and add a bit of excitement.

[Champagne]

You can then access the relevant booking forms from the selection provided.
I agree with cascaralli. If you�re enjoying masturbating then you haven�t gone off sex; just sex with your partner! You definitely need to make it more interesting in that case. What arouses you when you masturbate? Think about what turns you on and then sit down with your partner and have an open discussion and tell him. Dressing up, role play, toys, kinkiness etc. can all add spice and re-inject the passion. If your man is a hot blooded male then he will be more than happy to accommodate your fantasies.

Also, invest in a couple of good books, e.g. The Woman's Book of Orgasm: A Guide to the Ultimate Sexual Pleasure by Tara Barker, or The Best of Best Women's Erotica by Marcy Sheiner.

[suzi-q]

Have you tried fantasising while you are having sex. You dont have to share your fantasies with him unless you want to. But try thinking of the same fantasies as when you masturbate.