Grand Stupidity

[NoMercy]

In the pub with the husband and we're standing at the bar waiting to be served.

It's the turn of the man standing next to us who is perusing the food menu.

"Can I help you, Sir?"

"Oh hi, yes, do you serve food here?"


Can anyone better that?

[queenofmean]

I'm not sure...but I used to work in a shoe shop. Beside the main desk was a small corridor with a huge sign that said Shoes For Men. A man came in one day wandered round and said 'why don't you sell men's shoes' I looked at him and pointed to the sign before he went 'oh' and scuttled through.

[Mamyalynne]

I'm sure I could think of some if I tried hard.

Might he have meant - do you take food orders at the bar or at the table?

[woofgang]

I think that’s one of the things people say while waiting for their brain to engage

[gness]

In W.H.Smith.....
Me....I'm trying to find a book my little girl wants to read...but she doesn't know the title or author.....if I tell you about it is there any way you could find it?
Assistant......I'll try...
Me....It's about a cat who moves to a new area where cats are being murdered....the cat and his new friends get together and decide to try to track down the murderer........
Assistant......I don't suppose you know whether it's fact or fiction?

Not really stupid, NoM...but it tickled me.......x

[mazie]

I asked our local station master how to get across the bridge to the other platform he said " You put one foot in front of the other" Made me smile. He did tell me how to get onto the bridge after he'd had his little joke :o)

[Peter Pedant]

// Can anyone better that?//

sure can baby - travelling around Thpain and athked if the hotel had a pool - si
yippee!
booked in and said - yeah where pool den ?
and she said - cerrado - closed
actually since all Spanish lithp - she thaid - clothed
which was kinda apposite since we couldnt swim

[NoMercy]

Does anyone here speak Spanglish?

[Peter Pedant]

oh Broosel
I get on wizz foreigners
and asked at the bureau d'acceuil - I would like to go to Bruges and the fella
" well - go!"
actually a helpful belgian said - no no he wants to know how to get to Bruges
and the cruel fella said "you go to ze key zat says 'Bruges' and you take the train from zat"
and I said - all in Fransh - "there isnt one"
and he said well you cant go ....

[NoMercy]

Gness, Id have wet myself at that x

[EDDIE51]

I would also assume he meant that, is there a specific area where you go to order food rather than ordering at the bar!

[NoMercy]

Eddie, he could barely stand up ;)

[Peter Pedant]

the inconveniently named Oonora O.Neill was a lecturer on the Beeb 2002

and so I asked in a book shop in lundy - This years Reith lectures Oonora O;Neill

and the helpful young chit of a girl said "Brief Lectures - erm I will have a look"

[No I do NOT have a chav accent]

[bednobs]

i was camping and we were visiting the herb farm right next door to the campsite. i wastalking to the herb man about our tent "over there" and about our camping holiday, then we moved onto buying some cat mint because our cat would like it.
him: "do you have your cat with you ...?"
me : "errr ...who brings their cat camping?"

[Tilly2]

You are all very cruel...Misunderstandings are not the same as stupidity.

[Peter Pedant]

good old days of hitching ( late sixties )
I was dropped and decided to finish up by bus
and asked a bystander - which way for London- the centre - the City
and she said - oh we dont have any city around here luv - none of dat 'ere.
I was in Haringey

[NoMercy]

Quite so, Tilly!

[-Talbot-]

Playing poker tuther week my Irish mate bit the dust early on, his excuse?

His cards were that bad he didn't even get a hand to bluff with.

[-Talbot-]

Doing a crossword last week I would ask out allowed so the missus or kids could answer.

Me ... Marooned

Wife ... burgundy

[Peter Pedant]

what about
NoM will love this
I was standing there with a whip waiting for newcomers .....
Med Student - I dont want to do Children
Me: when you came into this building you walked under a sign.What did it say ?
Med Student - The Childrens Hospital
Me This gives you some idea of the type of patient you are going to meet over the next three months
Med Student - sullenly - dont want to do children .......

I clearly inspire everyone whom I meet