There is a wonderful quote by Samuel Butler, that I want at my funeral (hopefully well into the future), it is not religious, in fact the Humanist Society use it, but somehow it seems to me to have a bit of spirituality about it - "I fall asleep in the full & certain hope that my slumber shall not be broken, and that though I be all-forgetting, yet shall I not be all-forgotten, but continue that life in the thoughts and deeds of those I loved". Even though her family abandoned her, I am sure she would want to be remembered by them, after all I think that's all we all want. Maybe a piece of music she was fond of could be played? Whatever you do, you won't be letting her down because you care enough to worry about this. Good luck.