Oor very good friend passed away last Friday morning, he was the one in the partnership that did most stuff, she has no idea about computers ,mobiles Or anything really, I've been there every day since early Friday and dealt on her behalf with the undertaker ,the Registrar,his private pension and shares,Virgin Media ,The list is endless And I don't mind doing it but I thought I might take a break today but I've had 5 phone calls all before 12 noon, in one she was hysterical saying a man was going to 'block' her from using the computer , she can't use one anyway and explained as gently as I could that this was a 'cold call' to put the phone down, I said I'd get VM to shield her phone but she doesn't know what to do then, this is not the time to tell her she'd have to deal with stuff but I'm there for her,she won't ,I really fear for her future, she's 78
Sorry but I just need to offload to people who don't know her or me
Bobbi, does she have any family who may be able to act as her POA? No doubt she isn't in the best frame of mind to work everything out, and it's good of you to help her x but maybe, for the future, there may be someone else who can deal with this kind of thing for her?
Only a nephew in New Zealand who I've been in touch with via email,she relays heavily on my son in law and daughter and us which I don't mind it just seems when I'm not there she's going into meltdown
It must all be quite overwhelming just now. If it helps, in homecare, some of our calls were mostly admin, making phone calls, paying Bill's, using the computer, etc. It really depends on what she feels most comfortable with, but maybe, even for now, get someone in a couple of times a week, or however often, so she can have some support and leave the stressful things until someone else is there.
The problem is Pixie,they were people who kept doors locked at all times, it was like Fort Knox getting in, very few got in apart from my family, as his life ebbed away we asked her to get the help of the Macmillan nurses but she ignored this
Yes she's the same now, the history in short is they married in 63 , divorced in 68 as he was ' naughty' as she puts it, met again in 98 and remarried in 2000, obviously the trust of anybody had disappeared
That's the frustrating bit, she doesn't want to , a microwave sits on her kitchen worktop unused for over 20 years,I could go on but you wouldn't believe me :0)
I am helping her and always will but she can't ever make a decision, I think if I'd said let's have "Follow the Yellow brick Road" at the Crem, she'd have agreed :0)))
Ah, I know... there is a difference sometimes, though, between regularly helping someone during this kind of situation and being able to do it regularly, forever. It isn't easy and it depends on both of you, what you are able to do. Hopefully, things will start to settle for her a bit, once more of the practicalities are sorted.